We have all heard the saying “the eyes are the mirror to the soul”. It’s true.
Just like I connect through their eyes, so can you.
We all look at our pets, but do you really look into their eyes?
That’s what I want you to think about. Look INTO their eyes, not AT their eyes. It’s totally different.
If you do, with intention, you will see happiness, hope, sadness, confusion, or whatever emotion they feel at the time. The eyes are a great way for you to “read” your own pet during various moments of the day.
Is there a communication issue between you and your pet? Look into their eyes, they are likely confused.
Come home to a mess? Look into their eyes. They are probably worried (because of your reaction), not because of the mess.
I do not recommend staring at your animal endlessly in the eyes. This can intimidate them. Just take a glance INTO their eyes. It won’t take long to know how they feel.
I want to share with you how important fostering is. We all hear it. We all know it. But today hit differently. Rambo got adopted today. After 18 months in rescue with ZERO applications, today he got adopted. Why? Because he was fostered.
People like to see photos of videos of the dogs doing real life every day family/home things. And as a foster you give the dog a chance at those things.
We took him in 6 weeks ago as a foster to adopt. We needed time for him to settle and then cat test him since his reaction to cats was unknown. We needed cat friendly. Unfortunately, he is not cat friendly. We confirmed this with 3 trainers. So fast forward to the last week. We realized he needed a cat friendly home so I posted him on socials.
From the day I posted him to the day he went home…. 5 days. That’s it. 5 days! A dog that went from zero applications in 18 months, to posted and adopted in 5 days. The only difference? He was in a foster home. Fostering makes adoptions happen.
The adopters today told me they woke up at 4am wondering if they were making the wrong decision. Why? Because they said “rescue dogs can have issues. Rescue dogs have problems and baggage.” But them, they told me their thoughts changed to “He will be fine because he’s been living in a home instead of a shelter.” And, “ He knows how to live in a home.” They felt better knowing he had been around many different people and animals. They felt better knowing he has been sleeping in my daughter’s bed with her. They felt better knowing he’s been around loving humans not scared in a shelter. Fostering makes it more personal. The dog isn’t just another face, the dog is part of someone’s family and someone’s home. Having the dog in a home made them feel comfortable enough to say YES to adoption.
And as important, fostering allowed him to get in front of different eyes. Because I had him in my home I was able to post him on my community and town pages on socials, my own personal socials, and dog specific (local) pages on socials. This put him in front of all new sets of eyes that the rescue does not have access to. The rescue posts them on PetFinder and their website. There are hundreds of thousands of dogs on PetFinder, it’s way too hard for one to stand out. But on smaller groups on socials? Very easy for those dogs to get noticed.
I’ve also had past adopters tell me they felt more comfortable adopting a dog that was being fostered by me (as an example) because I am a member of their community and we have had mutual friends. It gave them a connection to feel that they were not adopting from a stranger, but rather someone they could trust.
I live in a small town in Southern Maine. I posted Rambo on a few community pages and a few dog specific local pages, but the adopter came from the smallest of all those pages. My town page, Arundel Maine. So please, FOSTER. It doesn’t only save lives it leads to ADOPTION. And adoption is the goal. If you foster you have the ablity to get that dog more individual attention, which increases their odds of adoption. Every foster I have had, has been adopted by someone that saw the dog on my town pages. Pages the rescue does not have access to.
And if you can foster, please consider one of the dogs that has been continuously overlooked. All it takes is that dog getting in front of new eyes to have their forever. The forever they have been waiting so long for. The forever that every dog deserves.
We all know animals want us to stay with them during euthanasia. We have all heard vets talk about the importance of this. There are people that love their pets SO MUCH, that still choose to leave the room. Why? Their hearts can’t take the pain.
Deep love can occasionally cause deep pain. Here are some points from them, not from vets.
Yes, the animals will look for you if you leave. Yes, they want you to be there. Yes, it is incredibly heartbreaking for humans. But think of these things.
Most animals do not feel comfortable at the vet. They are nervous because they are so in tune to energy. And the office is filled with nervous fear energy. They feel safe with their guardian. Stay with them to comfort them. They will be less nervous if you are there.
They want YOU to be the last thing they see before their transition. They will LOOK for you if you leave. They trusted you to help them transition. If they waited for you to make the choice, the decision, that is because they wanted YOU to be the last person they saw before they gained their wings. They will feel something “went wrong”.
They will be confused. Your animal has been by your side every day. They will wonder if they did something wrong or made a mistake because you were not there.
Ask yourself this – If the roles were reversed, would your pet stay by your side no matter how hard it is? One million percent, YES. You see the stories of animals not leaving the location of their guardians. Waiting endlessly. You see the stories of animals staying with the guardians for hours, days, after they have passed until physically being forced to leave.
Not everyone may agree with me but this is my opinion. That kind of loyalty, the kind animals give us, comes with a great responsibility and deserves deep respect. Your animal would NEVER leave you, dont leave your animal.
No matter how bad things get, your pet never leaves your side. Be like your pet. Please. It will hurt. But take the pain, instead of giving it to them. Their heart will hurt if you are not there.
Lastly, we have all made mistakes. If you left your animal because you didn’t know at the time. Apologize to them now. Explain now. It is never too late.
And tell others. Leaving your pet doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Maybe it means you love them so much you choose not to make it more painful than it already is. You will feel pain because of their absence. You are only minimizing the pain felt during the actual transition. And to that I say, after all the years they gave you selfless love and loyalty, putting you before themselves, the 30 minutes in that vet room staying by their side is a very small sacrifice to make for them.
As a pet guardian, no matter what type of animal you have, make happiness more important than obedience.
If you have a happy animal, the animal is better behaved. Most behavioral issues come from stress, anxiety, or confusion. This can happen when obedience becomes more important than happiness.
If you have a happy animal, you wont have to force them to do things. I see this in horses frequently. They are being asked (later forced) to do jobs they don’t enjoy because they have the talent. What happens after? Behavioral issues surface. Health issues surface. Just because an animal can do something, it doesn’t mean the animal is happy doing that something.
The same applies to all animals. Dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, etc… Any pet you have. If your daily routine with your pet is focused on happiness being the most important thing, everything else falls into place effortlessly. The animals make good choices. They respond better to their guardians. They FEEL better. They are relaxed, happy, and internally calm. They might be so happy they aren’t externally calm! LOL
Dogs get excited when we come home. It can be 5 minutes, or 5 days and they are equally as excited. It feels like FOREVER for them when their best friend is gone.
A lot of dogs jump and get way too excited. I want to try to put this in perspective for you from a dog’s point of view.
Dogs are mentally equivalent to toddlers. When Toddlers get excited they loud and active! As adults when we get excited we learn to contain it more.
Also, you are your dogs whole entire world. They don’t have anything but YOU. So yes they are going to be excited when you come home. They know You are the one that feeds them, loves them, brings them places, etc. And they live only for YOU. Dogs don’t live for themselves.
Dogs are affectionate animals. When your dog sees another familiar dog, a friend, they get excited. They run, play, jump around. So them doing this to you is a honor! You are one of the pack!
But, yes I understand we must teach dogs not to jump up because they could knock over small or elderly people. They could scare people unintentionally.
More to think about. So many trainers will tell you to ignore the dog when you get home and when the dog comes down, acknowledge it and give it attention. Though this works, guess what it does? It hurts your dog’s heart. They feel less loved. .
Imagine the person you love most, being gone, you miss them. When you finally see them you are SO excited and they walk right past you and ignore you. It would hurt your heart. A lot. You would question if that person is happy to see you. Thats how dogs feel.
Or imagine your living parter (kid, spouse), etc. going to run an errand. Coming home, you say “Hello”, and try to talk and they just keep walking away from you ignoring you. You would feel confused, sad, and shut down.
So what you can you do? Because they can’t jump and we want them to know they are loved.
There is a better way to teach them.
I 1000% say acknowledge and love your dog when you come home, every single time. I do. If they get too excited (which many do), instead of ignoring them, scratch them around their neck, under the collar, or on the back of the neck. Both places a dog can not reach well on their own.
It will RELAX them. And, it feels so good! It is a sign of affection and love because you are doing something for them. And, you are acknowledging them. And, most importantly, it will calm them. They will immediately stop jumping or bouncing around wildly.
This is a favorite spot for the major of dogs. But maybe your dog has a different favorite spot. If so, use that one. Find the spot that makes your dog turn into a noodle. I can tell you it is going to be a spot your pet can’t reach on their own. Use this every time you walk in the door. It will change wild and jumpy dogs into relaxed dogs. And if you have a dog that is quiet when greeting, scratch them anyway because it will show them you are happy to see them.
The majority of homes have multiple pets. What happens when it is time for one pet to cross the rainbow bridge? Will the others know? Will they be sad?
At a spiritual level, yes, the other pets will know. But at the physical level they need to say GoodBye.
Most animals have loving relationships with the other pets in the home (or barn). They form bonds and friendships. There are even many circumstances where a “pair’ is together for a decade or longer.
Yes, the transition of one will make the other sad. Maybe even depressed.
Yes, if you don’t explain things to your pet they will wonder why the other pet just disappeared or never came home (barn).
Here are some ways to make this difficult event easier for the other animals in the home.
In either situation, leave something that belonged to your angel pet around the house/barn. Something the others animals can visit, stay close to, to feel comfort from. And explain again.
Explain to the other(s) what will happen and why.
Bring your pets together and tell them all it is time to say GoodBye.
Ideally, allow the remaining pets to see, smell, and process the angel pet’s body after the angel has transitioned.
If that is not possible, allow your angel pet to lay on a blanket while transitioning, wear a collar, or halter or have something on its body. Keep this on during the transition. Bring this item back to the other pets in the home/barn and leave it somewhere the animals frequent. The item (ideally a blanket or collar) will have the angel’s scent, as well as the scent of physical death (harsh term, I know. But it’s what animals smell). The animals will smell these scents and know what happened.
If you do the things above, the pets will understand and process the change. They will be sad. They will grieve. Like humans do.
Don’t forget them in the grieving process. They will need extra love and attention. Especially if they are the last animal left in the home, alone. Or if they lose the friend they were with for decades. Keep checking on them. Keep loving them.
And lastly, YES your angel pet will visit and your in house pets will see and feel the angel. This will help at a spiritual level. But like human, animals have a spiritual level and a physical level. The physical level will continue to grieve, missing their physical friend. Even though, like us, we know the angel is around.
Pets develop friendships, deep love, and connection with each other. They need you to help them get through it.
Just a quick tip because most dogs will need to learn about potty training or need a refresher.
If your pet is unsupervised they have the ability to use any part of the house as their bathroom. Why would you assume they know they shouldn’t? They don’t. Unless someone teaches them consistently they don’t know. They don’t know right from wrong, they know what they’ve been taught (or not taught). And even IF they know to use the bathroom outside, if they are new in your house they don’t know where the door is.
Spankingor yelling at your pet for using the house as a bathroom will not work. Even if you catch them in the act. Animals learn best when undesirable behavior is never an option. It’s avoided. It’s prevented.
Potty training can be time consuming and frustrating because it can take a REALLY long time. But there is a way to speed it up?
Keep your dog tethered to you at ALL times. Puppies, adults, seniors, any dog that is moving into your home. Sound inconvenient? It is. But guess what it works SO well!
You will see when your dog is starting to show signs of needing to go to the bathroom. You will see sniffing, restlessness, etc. And you can bring your dog outside when you see these signs.
If your dog does seem to pee without you noticing ahead of time, I guarantee youll catch your dog in the act mid stream and you can pick the dog up or walk the dog outside. No harsh or loud words needed. Because you catch your dog in the act it is an effective correction.
If your dog is unsupervised around your house, you are less likely to notice the signs or if the dog uses the bathroom. And then it’s too late.
No matter what, consistency is the key. Your dog needs to be tethered to you all day every day for this to work quickly. But know what the added bonus is? The best part?
The relationship you will develop with your dog during this time will be so deep and so connected. You will literally be spending all your time together. Your dog will learn to trust you and to follow you (this helps recall!).
It is also very easy to ask for random “sits” or “downs” at various times during the day. Working your dog like this helps with enrichment, education, bonding, and stress relief. There are so many benefits.
If you have a new dog coming to live with you or just recently brought a dog into you family give it a try! But really give it a fair chance. Its not just a few days, its more like a few weeks. All day, every day, consistently. And crate when you aren’t home. Or can’t tether.
My Family laughs at me because I give my dogs such SMALL treats.
Here’s the deal.
Animals aren’t like people. Their *satisfaction* from a human giving them a treat is NOT based on size. It is the connection of human to animal. The touch. The sharing.
Every single time I eat, I share with my dogs. Sometimes it is my own food, sometimes their dog snacks. But every time. I share 5 or 6 (on average) bites with them each time. Over the course of a day, between sharing when I eat, or just giving them snacks for rewards, they probably get 30 “snacks” a day. Sounds like a lot right? But they are so small it is not that much.
The more you start looking at animals as equals and seeing their emotions, behaviors and quirks from their point of view, the happier they will be. They will engage more. They will open up more. Their personalities will shine more. They will behavior “better”. They will understand more.
I was always a gentle, patient, and kind guardian. 20 years ago I had happy pets. But I was seeing them from a human perspective. I was humanizing them. Placing my emotions and thoughts on them instead of trying to see their own thoughts and emotions and perspectives. I was placing my human ideas of why they behaved a certain way.
Now, holy cow! My pets are a level of happy that I never knew existed! All because I started seeing things from THEIR perspective, THEIR understanding, THEIR thoughts and emotions and most importantly their WHY behind their behaviors. Not the why I placed on their behavior, from a human perspective. I thought I was seeing things from their perspective often, but I wasn’t. I let human thoughts and emotions get in the way.
When you see your animals as equals instead of something you “own” your entire relationship will change for the better.
I have always loved animals. I have always been an animal person. I always did the best I knew how to do and followed what I thought was the right way to do things. I was always kind, never forceful. My animals have always been happy and loved. They were always happy.
But, I didn’t always see their behaviors from their perspective. I saw it through mine in my 20s and early 30s. Once I started really communicating with animals, lots of them, I started seeing their behavior from their perspective and it changed everything!
