One of the hardest decision as a guardian is knowing when it’s time.
We don’t want to make the decision too early, but we also don’t want to make it too late.
Our animals choose us and trust us to assist them to the Rainbow Bridge when the time is right. It should always be when they are ready, not when we are. We are never ready. They know this and they will hold on, hiding pain and suffering to try to prevent ours. But helping them is our responsibility, our time to be selfless after everything they have selflessly given us.
When you feel your pet might be ready, the best thing to do is to tell them with words Say them and try to be sincere. Animals know when you’re faking it. If you have to fake it, fake it. It’s an effort and they know your intention is there even if you heart isn’t.
Here are some things you can say as the timing feels right, over the course of days, weeks, months. It will help prevent them from feeling guilt when they are ready.
“You are free to go when you are ready.”
“I am ready to assist you when you are ready.”
“The timing is your decision and I will honor it.”
“I will miss you, but I know you will never truly leave me. “
“I want you to feel well, I don’t want you to feel any pain.”
Animals don’t measure life in days or years like we do. They measure it in moments. They don’t want to get as many days as possible. They want to get as many fun and beautiful moments as possible.
When their life stops being full of beautiful and fun moments, and doing their favorite things, because they lack the energy for true joy, they are just existing and breathing. These are the times when it gets easy to get into the “one more day” trap because our hearts are SO full of love for these beautiful souls.
But delaying “one more day” doesn’t ease our heartbreak pain, it just delays it. It doesn’t ease our animals physical pain, it extends it.
Animals that have been abused, neglected, thrown away, but rescued, measure their life by the moments at the end. The moments of being loved and cared for. The moments of being part of a family. The happy moments.
This means your pet that has lived a beautiful life with you for years, months, sometimes even days (those hospice pets), measure THAT as their life. An extra few days or weeks at the end are not what matter to them if they are not meaningful, joyful days.
If they can still feel mostly joy, fun, and enjoy their favorite activities (reasonably for their age), they are living. When they aren’t feeling joy as much and lose interest or ability to participate in the things they love, they are existing. Existing is to benefit us, not them.
Every animal I have every asked wants assistance before the bad days outweigh the good days. Every animal I have asked wants to go a day early instead of a day too late.
Every animal is different and knowing YOUR animal is important. They will show you when they are ready. But it’s your job to see it, and not allow your heart to blind you what they are trying to tell you or show you because of the heartbreak you know will follow.
If the last days, weeks, months mean going to the vet 2-3 x a week and your pet has a fear/anxiety at the vet, your pet probably doesn’t want to do this and would rather only stay as long as it’s possible to stay comfortable without pokes, prods, and vet visits.
But if you have a pet that doesn’t mind the vet and the frequent visits can create a comfortable, JOYFUL life, that pet will likely want to stay longer.
What your pets wants at the end of its life is very important. It should be honored and respected. We should assist them with what they want, even if it means we get one less day than we hoped for.
They give their entire lives to us loyally and selflessly. That’s why our hearts love them so deeply that it makes Good-Bye seem impossible. We get one chance to do the same for them and it’s when they need our assistance at the end. Don’t leave them, no matter how hard it is. They NEED to see you and feel your love and energy as they make their journey to the Rainbow Bridge. Hold them, kiss them, and wish them “safe travels”. Stay by their side until the end, like they have always done for you.
Decisions should always be made for them, never to protect our heart.
Our hearts will shatter no matter what, whether it’s today, tomorrow, or a week from now. We owe it to them to make sure every day they have is filled with joy, because every day they gave to us, brought us joy.