Yes, it’s real. Chihuahuas get a bad rep. Small dogs tend to have less patience. But, there’s a reason.
Small dogs (in general) get less “training” than big dogs. Many people assume they don’t need it because they can just pick them up and move them. They don’t pull as hard on a leash. They often can barely keep up when we walk anyway.
But, many of these small dogs feel constantly overwhelmed and that’s what their behavior often reflects.
Instead of calling them over and waiting for them to respond, it is easier to pick them up and move them to where you want them. When you call a dog, they have time to process it and make a choice, and know where they are headed (to their human in the kitchen for example). A small dog, is just surprised! All of a sudden they’ve been picked up and have no idea where they are going.
They are often assumed to be easier because they are smaller. But in reality they need the same care and enrichment and exercise! Especially the terriers!
Small dogs are prone to a lot of barking. Why? Usually, they aren’t getting enough exercise. Or, they are trying to use their voice because they rarely feel heard or respected. They are trying to feel big in a world that makes them feel small (and therefore unsafe).
The best things for small dogs, is to treat them like big dogs. Teach them all the same things. Exercise them. If they have less patience, understand there is a reason. They feel vulnerable. Small dogs gets pushed around a lot, not intentionally, just because of their size.
Their size makes them feel more like toys than dogs. Because of their size they are treated differently than larger dogs. This does not help them, it hurts them. They develop excessive behaviors to try to make up for their lack of confidence and their insecurities. They try to act “big”.
So if you have a small dog that is very reactive or that barks a lot. Start by teaching the dog all the things you would teach a 100 lb, strong dog. It will give your small dog confidence. It will give your small dog choice. It will give your small dog enrichment.
Your small dog will be so much happier and so much more balanced.
Here’s a simple thing you can add to your daily routine to show your pets more love.
Tell them what you love about them. Or recognize something they do that you like. It’s basically giving you pet a compliment each day. We all like to get compliments, animals are no different.
We often correct them for behaviors we don’t like, but do their desired behaviors get as much attention or reward? The desired behaviors should get more!
Examples:
* I like when you greet me every time I come.
* You look so pretty today!
* I love how patiently you wait for me to prepare your meals.
* I love how you come sit with me on the couch.
* I love how generous you are with your kisses.
* I love how you make me feel better when I am sad.
* I love how excited you get when it’s time to play or go for a walk.
The holidays affect pets, hugely! The holidays can fill homes and humans with stress, anxiety, busyness, joy, happiness or excitement. Sometimes a mix of all of these! Like humans some pets will thrive on the energy and get excited too. These pets may be over active, over stimulated, and over tired by the end. These emotions can cause pets to react out of character. Have extra patience with them. Do not discipline them for their emotions, they are just excited like the humans are! And they will express it by being overly active, jumpy, loud, or wild! Allow them to celebrate and be happy! Animals express their joy without containment.
Containing joy is not something animals know how to do, and truthfully why would we want them to? They are here for such a short time, let them live it up fully an be happy and excited! For these pets, it may be easier (on you) to put them in a crate or a room so you don’t have to baby-sit their energy. But that is not easier for them. If they enjoy the holidays they WANT to be included. And though it is more work for you, they deserve to be included, and deserve to have you watch over them so they succeed. Isolating them will hurt their heart.
But also, keep an eye on these pets. As they become over stimulated they can react quickly and unintentionally from fatigue. When they need a break, put them in a spot where they can take a break.
Some will get anxious and afraid and stressed. To some, it will feel like chaos. Especially when homes get busy with a bunch of people. For pets that are more reserved, not so social, anxious, fearful or nervous, guests in the home can feel like an invasion of their safe space.
For pets that are overly sensitive (this does not mean they are fearful or anxious), this can be overwhelming. These pets absorb the energy and “issues” of every human in the home. We know animals absorb our energy. And even more so, after everyone leaves, their energy lingers. These pets that are extra sensitive will feel this for days, maybe even weeks (if someone was really heavy on emotion). This is all very hard on our pets.
Even the ones that enjoy the excitement of the holidays. It is your responsibility to put your pets first. To watch them to they are set up for success. To have them take a break if needed. Keep guests away from them if needed. Give them a safe and quiet space if needed. Have patience with them. Whether they get excited and happy, or stressed and overwhelmed, they need guidance and support so they can succeed. Our responsibility, not just during the holidays but always is to set our pets up to succeed. It is possible, for every animal in every situation.
The world we live in expects way too much of domestic animals. We ask them to be something other than what they are because our world is human centered. We do this by asking them NOT to engage in behaviors that ARE who they are (dogs, cats, horses, etc…). Why? Because those behaviors don’t line up with human life.
Our pets are doing their best to understand our world, adapt to it, and to live in it. We humanize them. This is not terrible. In fact, it is often how we show love. And yes, they DO have all the emotions humans have, so it’s easy to do.
But… we have to remember they are still animals. They still have instincts, even though they are domestic. And since they are a different species than us, their needs are different. Expecting them to let go of the traits and the behaviors that are part of who they are is unfair. Yet, so many of us do it. Most of us do it to some degree.
Despite this, the amount of patience and forgiveness they continue to extend to us is unwavering. It’s mind blowing actually. No matter how many times YOU ask them to be something they aren’t, they still try. And most of the time they follow our rules that take away most of their natural behaviors. It’s quite sad actually.
The majority of pets in this world are misunderstood or held to unreasonable expectations. But, they are loved. Love isn’t enough. You owe it to your pet to allow them to be what they are. A dog, a cat, a horse, a bird, etc..)
Please take the time to read through this if you love your pet. It may just give you a different perspective and make you realize you might be expecting too much.
You may skip to the section relevant to the type of pets you have, but please take note at the end there is a paragraph that applies to ALL species of pets. Please visit that too!
Let’s start wtih dogs because they are so popular. Barking – We ask them not to bark, tell them to “shut up” at times. Their bark is their VOICE! Imagine if you could never talk. How frusteraed would you be? They bark for a reason. You may not know what that reason is but they have one. Maybe it is just to be heard! Maybe they are frusterated with always being told NOT to use your voice. Maybe, they are protecting or alerting you, the only way they know how. What may not seem like danger to you, can seem like danger to them. And when you shame them for doing so, that hurts their heart. When they bark, thank them. Please, I beg you, thank them. They are simply displaying DOG behaviors. They have a voice too.
Sniffing – We’ve all seen the memes. Sniffing is like reading email for dogs. It’s like a phone call or a text. It’s like browsing the internet. It’s how they gather information. They need to gather information to feel safe, secure, and enriched. If you always pull them away from tings they are sniffing they lose the ability to gather information. They will feel more confused, more afraid, and more unsure. They will feel like they are missing out on something. How many times do you search the internet, read a book, get a call or a text? You gather information for the vast majority of the day. Can you allow them the same? Don’t rush them on walks. Let them sniff. If you come home with something new, show them and let them sniff. If you don’t allow them to sniff, they feel isolated and frusterated. They need an expanded world, like we do. Too much of their lives are spent just in our house. They need MORE. And sniffing can expand their world. When you walk, and even just bringing new things into the house.
Pulling – Quite simply, dogs walk faster than us. That is why they pull. Why do we have to force them to walk slower? If you can’t let them off leash, YOU walk faster. Are they pulling because you never let them sniff? Let them sniff. They want to be in front to keep you safe. Pulling is not disobedienace, it’s dogs being dogs.
Now I understand they can be injured pulling (neck, windpipe, etc) so we do have to find modifications (harness, walk faster, or simply, let them walk in front of you).
Digging/Chewing – This is a natural behavior for dogs. It provides comfort, relaxation, and enruchment. It’s part of who they are, it’s that simple. If we do not give them the opportunity to do these things we are taking away their core behaviors. The behaviors that keep them mentally healthy and stimulated. Behaviors they find FUN and fufilling because it is in their DNA to do these things. We have domesticated them but they still hold onto species specific behaviors and that is what these are.
Emotions- How often do we ask dogs not to show emotions? Almost always. When dogs get excited, we ask them to calm down. That is how they show excitment! Jumping around, bouncing, running, etc.. It’s their expression of joy, happiness, and love.
When they growl or show teeth they are requesting space in THEIR language. They are asking kindly even though it seems they aren’t. To them, it IS kind. It is a warning. They are telling you they are NOT comfortable, they don’t feel safe, or they just need a break. When you are in those situations you can walk out and leave. Or, we’ve all done it, we snap… yell for a minute, slam a door, then feel better. That’s all dogs are doing! But they are doing it in the only way they know how. The way that has been bred into their species. Yet we ask them NOT to show their emotions. Imagine having to keep your inside? As a human, you’d eventually explode. Guess what… they do too.
These are just a few ways we ask dogs to be something other than who they are.
Now Cats….
Hunting – We ask domestic cats to live inside and this prevents them from engaging in the natural behavior of hunting. Something that provides them with mental and physical enrichment and exercise. When they aren’t allowed to hunt, they will bite and scratch humans, fight with other cats, or do anyhing they can to mimick hunting behavior. They don’t know any other way! Yes keeping them inside is safer, so I agree with that. But if you are going to do that, you must provide hunting simulation. Either by playing WITH them in hunting fashion or providing visual stalking enrishment (bird feeder, TV, etc..)
Scratching – Not only do humans expect cats NOT to scratch walls or furniture, sometimes they even declaw them! Scratching is a natural behavior for cats. It provides comfort, relaxation, and enruchment. It’s part of who they are, it’s that simple. It’s how they keep their area clean when they use the bathroom (burying it). It is a core part of being a cat. So please give them places to scratch. Their wellness depedns on it.
Hissing/Biting – This is their communication. It is how they tell you when they are uncomfortable, feel unsafe, or need space. It is like they ASKING you to leave them alone. Not if you don’t listen to their polite ask, YES they will probably bite harder, attack, etc… But in their defense they already warned you. If they are showig you they are not OK with something, it is unfair to ignore their request and force something on them. Asking them to keep their emotions inside is NOT healthy or fair.
Ok, how about horses?
Stalls – Horses are meant to walk and graze. Their digestion is dependent on movement. When we ask them to live in stalls we are taking away their bodies ability to digest properly. We are taking away their enrichment and exercise. Having a horse in a stall for more than a few hours is no different than having a dog in a crate. Why do horse people feel it’s different? It isn’t. Some horses live in stalls 22 hours a day. If anyone had a dog in a crate for 22 hours people would be up in arms about it. But it’s ok for horses? Why? The ratio of the size of the area compared to the size of the animal is the same. Horses need to be outside, moving, for as many hours as possible. They need it mentally and for their physical health.
Kicking/biting – This is the way they communicate that something hurts or is making them scared or uncomfortable. Can it hurt us? Yes, it can! But, if we choose to work with these big animals we are choosing to take that risk. If you punish them for showing you something hurts, they will stop showing you until it becomes so unbearable they explode. And they it will be a lot more dangerous for you.
Bucking/rearing – When we put horses under saddle we again are accepting the risk that their behavior may hurt us because of their size. But it is again unfair to punish them for displaying these behaviors (bucking, rearing, etc). Those behaviors are them telling us something horse, something is confusing, or it’s just too much pressure. They are communicating with us the only way they know how. So instead of punishing them, take a step back and be softer, fix your riding, allow them grace. THANK THEM for showing you something is not right. It is a privledge to ride a horse, they do not owe that to us. So if it is not 100% comfortable for them, YES they should tell us in the way they can. And YES, we should change something so it IS 100% comfortable for them. But humans have a hard time accepting they (the human) is the one making the mistake. Trust me… it’s almost always the human.
Now what about ALL the animals as a collective …
All of the animals I have mentioned are herd, pack, colony, etc.. They are bred to ive in groups of some sort. Yet, we keep horses alone. We ask dogs to be the only, cats to the be only. Imagine being the ONLY human in a group of dogs?? Ok wait, that might actually be pretty awesome!
Seriously though, imagine being the only human, in a group that speaks an entirely different language and lives an entirely different lifestyle. Could you be as patient as your pets are? Companionship of the same species is important for ALL living beings. (Yes I do know there are rare exceptions of animals that don’t get along with others).
But also, remember on the flip side, our animals do not have to like every human they meet, every dog they meet, every cat they meet, or every horse they meet. The same goes for goats, birds, rabbits, etc.. All animals have personality and energy and some won’t get along with each other. And that is ok! Just like you will have best friends, acquaintences, and others you don’t really like too much. Animals should be allowed the same opinions on others. They are individuals like us.
Now I am NOT an advocate of rehoming pets. So when household pets don’t get along, I do truly beleive it is the humans responsibility to accommodate. Have differen parts of the house for each animal, work through the dislike as much as possible, allow decompression and personal space. The paragraph about is more about not expecting your pet to be a social butterfly. Some will be, some won’t. Honor who they are.
Now let’s talk about animals and humans. We love them… oh do we love them! we want to kiss them, hold them, pat them. But sometimes they need space! Just like we do. If they are not in the mood to be kissed, hugged, petted, give them space. Don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just need quiet time now and then like we do. They don’t have to accept being kissed and hugged every waking moment. Sometimes they want peace and quiet. You know your pet. Show them love, but when they walk away because they have had enough, let them walk away. Don’t chase them. Don’t hold them forcing them to stay. Let them leave.
Honor their personality. Don’t try to change it. Honor their species. They are bred to be a certain way. Honor their forgiveness and patience. When you think about how challenging their world is, even in a home full of love, it truly gives you a different appreciation for how much they tolerate
My passion and my reason for doing this job is for these animals to be heard and understood in a world that asks so much for them. If you read this, you are trying. Thank you. Thank you for trying to learn how to understand them and create a better world for them.
If you move, take them. You would take your child.
If your pet develops a behavioral issue, show them love, patience and understanding. Change what is happening. Don’t blame them or give up on them. Their behavior is their communication. They are trying to tell you something is wrong.
If you have a baby, keep your pet. It takes time, patience and understanding. Teach your pet how to be safe and respectful near your baby. Teach your child to be safe and respectful around your pet. The same expectation goes both ways.
If you adopt a pet, you are committed. It won’t be easy right away. It won’t be easy for a while. But be patient, make accommodations, make changes, make it EASY for your pet. It should be easy for them, hard for you. Not the opposite. But if you expect it to be easy for you, it will be hard for them. Give them TIME. So much time. These are the sacrifices we make to make them feel safe, loved, welcomed, and relaxed.
If something in your home or routine doesn’t work for your pet, change it. Don’t try to change the pet’s behavior or reaction.
Don’t give up on your pet. When it’s the hardest, that is when they need YOU most. They need your love, your patience, your understanding. They need you to help them. Not give up on them.
If your pet needs exercise, accommodate. If your pet needs your time, accommodate. If your pet needs to avoid a certain situation or person, accommodate. If your pet needs space, accommodate. This is how you build trust, love and a true relationship with them.
Animals are too often expected to adapt to our lives. But the trust is, they are the ones that are less capable so we need to adapt our lives to THEM. Just like we would with children. When you have a child your life will change. The same applies when you have animals. Expect your life to change.
Animals are willing to do anything and everything we ask if we take the time to teach them slowly and in a way they can understand. There is no purer form of love or loyalty on this planet.
When our animal “react” they need our support not our discipline. They need kind leadership, not punishment.
“Reactions” come from uncertainty or fear. Think of a reaction as a cry for help. That’s what it is. Animals are like children, they really are. If you child is scared or uncertain you would deescalate the situation, not make it worse with yelling, screaming or assertive tactics. Do the same for your pet.
* Be calm
* Be a leader (which means be confident) that they KNOW will keep them safe. So many people get nervous BEFORE their pet reacts… this is why the animal reacts! The human is scared, so the animal thinks there is something to be afraid of!
* Be proactive. If you know there is something that triggers your pet, avoid it when you can. This creates less stress hormone in them.
* Have a plan. A plan that involves deesclation with calmness, patience and clarify.
* Take your pet to a quiet spot after a reaction. Let the animal unwind and relax. Hug them, kiss them, comfort them. This is not rewarding “bad” behavior. This is showing them they are safe and giving them time for the stress hormones to subside. After a “reaction” it takes time for the stress level to go down. They need quiet space and love for this to happen. And you have 3 seconds when correcting animals, 3 seconds that’s it! By the time you get out of the trigger space, 3 seconds have passed. So if you are angry at your animal, scolding your dog, etc… your pet has NO IDEA why. Too much time has passed.
We MUST take care of our animals mental health. This is so often overlooked with pets. But it should not be. Allowing them to unwind, post reaction, with love, hugs and comfort is not rewarding them. It is letting them know they are safe and loved with you. It is mental health time, for them.
Every pet is an empath. The term gets used loosely in our human world but animals are the real deal. True empaths.
Humans can experience empathy (this is different than being an empath). And there are a small percentage of humans that are true empaths. But every single animal IS a true empath.
That’s why they know how you feel even if you try to hide it. That’s why they absorb your energy. They are emotional sponges for ALL emotions, good and bad.
This is why many develop behavior issues or physical illness and disease. They become overwhelmed by the information overload from YOUR emotions.
This is why they connect so deeply with their humans.
This is why some animals do not enjoy being in crowds or around certain human individuals. They are sensitive to the energy of others but also the energy of the environment.
They have heightened emotional sensitivity compared to the majority of humans.
This is why they get overjoyed with excitement when they see you. But also why they take it so personally if they make a mistake or when you hurt their feelings.
Because they are so emotionally sensitive it is easy to see why those that suffer from abuse (physical or emotional) or neglect carry that for so long.
It is also easy to see how anxious or naughty behaviors develop.
If every time you interact with your pet, you remembered they are empaths, how would that change the way you engage? Especially during times they misunderstand or make a mistake.
Lastly, if you stop and think about how your pet is an emotional sponge (a trait of an empath), how much better would you manage YOUR emotions, stresses, and frustrations for THEIR benefit? Being more emotionally intelligent, more emotionally regulated, and more emotionally balanced directly increases your pets quality of life. And quite frankly, their life expectancy.
Every single one of you are sharing your life and your home with an empath animal. A TRUE empath. Let that sink in. Let that really sink in.
Bringing a baby into a home is a huge adjustment for pets. New smells, new sounds, less attention, changes in routine and energy in the home.
I firmly believe children that are raised (appropriately) around animals are blessed. They become empathetic, loving and kind.
When you first bring a new baby home expect your pet to be unsure. They will sense your fatigue, anxiety, worry and stress.
They will try to be involved because they are part of the family! They might not be happy at first, but they’ll learn with time and patience.
They deserve that. Your time, your patience and your understanding. If you have a toddler and you bring a new baby home you explain things in depth and you teach your toddler how to behave around the new baby. Your pet deserves the same.
Please don’t expect just to know they aren’t suppose to lick, jump, scratch, etc. they need to be taught patiently. They need to be loved and included.
It’s ok to keep your pet on a leash for safety Initially. But please don’t isolate or ignore your pet. You wouldn’t do that to a toddler child. That will cause the wrong behaviors to manifest. And your pet will feel unimportant and discarded. Undesirable Behaviors will reflect this.
There will be jealousy. There will be confusion and uncertainty. But if you treat your pet the way you would treat your toddler who is welcoming home their first sibling, you will end up with an animal that adores your baby.
So bring home items that smell like the baby before the baby comes home. Give these to your pet. Show the pet the new areas for the baby. Make it FUN for your pet. Include your pet, while keeping everyone (baby and pet) safe. Your family can grow WITH your pet. And everyone, including your pet, can be happy and feel loved. Your pet deserves the time, patience, and inclusion. They would never ignore or isolate you.
And please, teach your baby/child to be gentle with your pet when that time comes. I see too many pets tolerating things they are unfair.
And as a bonus pets are GREAT at making babies and kids laugh!! And they make great best friends for kids.
When you see your animals as equals instead of something you “own” your entire relationship will change for the better. I have always loved animals. I have always been an animal person. I always did the best I knew how to do and followed what I thought was the right way to do things. I was always kind, never forceful. My animals have always been happy and loved. They were always happy.
But, I didn’t always see their behaviors from their perspective. I saw it through mine in my 20s and early 30s. Once I started really communicating with animals, lots of them, I started seeing their behavior from their perspective and it changed everything! I had happy animals, but now? Now my animals are a new level of happiness. There isn’t an underlying confusion on their end. My relationships with them is so different in the best way! What I thought was the best it could be, wasn’t even the tip of the best it could be!
So now my goal is to help others realize how much things change for you and your pets when you see everything they do from their perspective. Not your projected perception. Their actual perception. Everything they do stems from love, acceptance, and a desire to try to make their guardian proud and keep heir guardian safe. They will never understand our perspective, they aren’t wired that way. When you see behaviors through their perspective your pets will not be confused or scared, ever! And the relationship between the two of you will reflect that!
We have all heard the saying “the eyes are the mirror to the soul”. It’s true.
Just like I connect through their eyes, so can you.
We all look at our pets, but do you really look into their eyes?
That’s what I want you to think about. Look INTO their eyes, not AT their eyes. It’s totally different.
If you do, with intention, you will see happiness, hope, sadness, confusion, or whatever emotion they feel at the time. The eyes are a great way for you to “read” your own pet during various moments of the day.
Is there a communication issue between you and your pet? Look into their eyes, they are likely confused.
Come home to a mess? Look into their eyes. They are probably worried (because of your reaction), not because of the mess.
I do not recommend staring at your animal endlessly in the eyes. This can intimidate them. Just take a glance INTO their eyes. It won’t take long to know how they feel.
