Communicating With Your Pet (Changes, Daily Communication, Vacations, Etc)

February 23, 2025February 23, 2025

Do Pet’s Feel Guilt?

Animals can not feel guilt. This is a human emotion.

Instead, what you are seeing is your animals reaction to you and your emotion. They don’t feel remorse after going through the trash, scratching something up, or breaking something when you weren’t around. However, when you show up and you are frustrated, they react to YOU. But they do not know why you are frustrated.

So what you see if their attempt at avoiding conflict and avoiding trouble. It is their attempt at showing you they see you are upset and showing you they don’t want to add to your emotion. So they show what we label as signs of guilt. However in an animal’s perspective they are trying to assume a submissive position to avoid conflict, to stay out of trouble, and to show you, they just want to keep the peace.

Animals are experts at reading human emotions. If you look upset, they want to avoid making you more upset. So they try to deescalate the situation by making themselves small, avoiding eye contact, trying to hide, etc. The last thing they want to do is make you more upset than you already are. So they assume their most non threatening positions and actions.

Because of this scolding them or continuing to be frustrated and upset only damages the relationship you have with your animal. When they are doing everything they can to maintain the peace, to avoid trouble/conflict, you scolding them only makes you unjust and unsafe in their eyes.

Unless you caught them in the act, they have no idea why you are upset. Animals are highly communicative beings. When you ignore their communication (them assuming submissive behaviors and actions) in these moments, you will cause them to live in confusion and fear.

Instead, stop and take a breath. Change your energy. Encourage your animal to approach you. They want to help us. They want to be your happy place! If you are upset, they want to comfort you. Let them know it is ok for them to comfort you. Be happy to see them despite the mess you walked into. Because I can promise you they are SO happy to see you every day, in all situations and under all occasions.

The mess is separate from your pet at that moment. If you didn’t catch them in the act there is zero connection in their mind. This is why they are such great teachers for us! You have to let it go. And allow your pet to make you smile. Doing this will create the deepest, truest bond. Your pet will feel SAFE with you. Your pet will continue to communicate with you instead of shutting down.

January 23, 2025January 23, 2025

Separation Anxiety

Talk to your pet like you’d talk to another human. You would not walk out of the house without saying a word if your partner or child was in the same room, or likely even in the house. You’d tell them you’re leaving and maybe even for how long and what you’re doing. Tell your pet:

* You’re leaving

* You’re coming back (very important for pets with separation anxiety)

* How long you expect to be gone

* Where you’re going

Pets are very intuitive. They understand and the know. They know more than you think they do.

January 23, 2025January 23, 2025

Who’s Point Of View?

The more you start looking at animals as equals and seeing their emotions, behaviors and quirks from their point of view, the happier they will be. They will engage more. They will open up more. Their personalities will shine more. They will behavior “better”. They will understand more.

I was always a gentle, patient, and kind guardian. 20 years ago I had happy pets. But I was seeing them from a human perspective. I was humanizing them. Placing my emotions and thoughts on them instead of trying to see their own thoughts and emotions and perspectives. I was placing my human ideas of why they behaved a certain way.

Now, holy cow! My pets are a level of happy that I never knew existed! All because I started seeing things from THEIR perspective, THEIR understanding, THEIR thoughts and emotions and most importantly their WHY behind their behaviors. Not the why I placed on their behavior, from a human perspective. I thought I was seeing things from their perspective often, but I wasn’t. I let human thoughts and emotions get in the way.

January 23, 2025January 23, 2025

Your Equal

When you see your animals as equals instead of something you “own” your entire relationship will change for the better.

I have always loved animals. I have always been an animal person. I always did the best I knew how to do and followed what I thought was the right way to do things. I was always kind, never forceful. My animals have always been happy and loved. They were always happy.

But, I didn’t always see their behaviors from their perspective. I saw it through mine in my 20s and early 30s. Once I started really communicating with animals, lots of them, I started seeing their behavior from their perspective and it changed everything!

January 20, 2025January 23, 2025

Preferred Phrases

When I talk with the animals they often share preferred phrases with me. When they do, I make a commitment to use these terms.

Recently, pets have used the word “transition” instead of “euthanasia”, “dying”, and even “passed”.

I often ask them why. With this the general consensus is because they are not moving on in any way, they are transitioning into a different form, still as actively involved in their guardians’ lives.

January 20, 2025January 23, 2025

Proper Correction

One of the most important messages I want to send is about delayed correction.

This is one of the biggest misunderstandings I see between humans and animals.

Unless you actually catch your pet in the act of undesirable behavior, it is TOO LATE to correct them. They will not understand what they are being corrected for. All you will do is create confusion and lack of trust.

January 20, 2025January 23, 2025

Time With Your Pet

So many guardians feel guilty about not spending enough time with their pets.

Yes our pets love the time they get with us. They want as much as they can get. They’d spend every minute with us if they could…. Ok well most of them would:)

But they also are the most understanding loyal and selfless beings that exist. If you are busy – gone a lot – take the time to acknowledge your dog when you leave and when you return – even if you only run into the house for 3 minutes.

If you have work to do at home, sit with your pet and do it. Talk to your pet while you clean. Make ten 2 minute connections with your pet if that’s all you have.

Sometimes 10 connections seem like more time to a pet than one 30 minute connection because of frequency.

January 20, 2025January 23, 2025

Gifts From Your Pet

If your pet brings you something – anything, thank them.

It could be a toy, a kill, a stick, a bone, even your shoe! Whatever it is, it is their way of gifting you something to show their love.

So many pets get “in trouble” for bringing a sock or a shoe or an item belonging to a human. Trust me there is not a more flattering gift. It has your scent. Your animal is showing you how special you are. And bringing you something that is YOURS! To be helpful and to show love.

January 20, 2025January 23, 2025

Are You Hurting Your Pet’s Feelings?

There are a few things humans do that unintentionally hurt their animals feelings. I will post about these over the next week or two.

The first is teasing – I see a lot of clips on IG of animals being teased… now some of it is funny! The cheese test (as long as you give your pet the cheese after). But most of it just confuses animals. They don’t understand teasing like humans do and they take everything literally.

They think you are laughing AT them. This hurts their feelings.

They think they are in trouble or a disappointment.

They think they’ve done something wrong.

They wonder why their guardian wants to “annoy” them.

Most importantly, teasing affects your relationship with your pet. It scars the trust. Animals are all forgiving beings so yes they get over it but in that moment they are hurting, they are sad, they are confused.

January 20, 2025January 23, 2025

Do Our Animals Understand When We Talk To Them?

Yes, they do! What they do not understand is when we are joking.

Animals that are talked to often with words of praise are happier and oftentimes, can act a bit spoiled (lol). They are always being told they are special or loved so they feel that way.

Animals in not great situations that are scolded or told they are “stupid” even as a joke, are not as happy and start to have self-confidence issues. They become nervous and anxious.

The words you use when you engage with your pet affect your relationship with them and how they view themselves.