I always talk about being patient with your pets. About providing them with what they need so they are fulfilled and balanced, which is turn creates the best behavior. Animals WANT to be good. They naturally ARE good and DO good. When they do “misbehave”, they are just communicating. They also are allowed to make mistakes, just like we all do. And they should not be punished for mistakes. Especially when those “mistakes” are a result of a humans actions or a human holding an animal to unreasonable expectations.
Behavior issues aren’t your pet being defiant. They aren’t your pet trying to upset you. Behavior issues most certainly aren’t your pet intentionally doing something they know they should not do. (Why do humans think this?). Every behavior is communication. If you think it’s an “issue”, youre right. But the issue is not the behavior. The issue is something your animal is facing and needs your help with.
Here is an example straight out of my life with dogs:
My dogs are incredibly well behaved. They never ever make a mess in the house. They never ever destroy things. I mean never! They are SO easy. Why? They live a fulfilling life where they feel safe, get enough (but not too much) exercise, rest peacefully, and feel included. They are allowed to be dogs and do dog things. They are allowed to have fun. They are accepted for who they are and what they need.
But even so, they are going to make mistakes (they aren’t perfect, just like we aren’t) or face challenges that they need help with. But, I am always in awe at how few mistakes they make. Way less than humans!
Anyway, I went on a 10 day trip in June. My son was home with them but works all day. They had a mid day visit from my mom to go to the bathroom. But for them they spent a lot more time alone than they do when I am home. They had much less exercise, because I was away.
For the first few days, no problems at all. Everyone was wonderful!
Mid way through the trip, Titan, my hard one, started to get bored. A lack of exercise, a lack of me being around (yes, me missed me), and sleeping alone (Titan chose to sleep alone) all contributed.
Titan ended up ripping my comforter. He could have slept with my son, he wanted to sleep in my bed where he usually sleeps (to be near my scent).
He scratched the couch up. He had more energy that needed to be released from a lack of exercise so he scratched more before laying down. This was from anxiety of pent up energy.
He got into a bag of plastic reusable containers and ripped them up all over the house. This is just from a lack of exercise and enrichment, he was bored and he needed something to do.
This is NOT his typical behavior. No one was upset with him. It just got cleaned up like it never happened. Why? We understand WHY he did this. It wasn’t his fault. It was ours. We can’t blame him for that. So my son just cleaned it up and never even said a word to Titan about it. Neither did I.
I know he is happier and safer at home versus in a kennel environment so though I know he doesn’t get enough exercise, it’s a better option for him. He would be so anxious and stressed in a kennel environment.
So though I am sad that he struggles a bit while I am away, I know it’s temporary and I do the best I can to make it as enjoyable as possible. They get new chews for each day I am away and a few other things to help. But it’s still hard for him.
The point is, I know he’s doing the best he can. I also do the best I can when I have to leave him. He forgives me for leaving and I don’t get upset about his atypical behavior, aka communication. We just let it go and celebrate being back together when we reunite.
Material things are replaceable. Relationships are not.
When your pet makes a mistakes, don’t think about it as a bad behavior or an intentional plan to upset you. Think about it as your pet letting you know something is wrong and they need your help. Acknowledge you are both doing the best you can and no one should hold grudges, anger, or frustration.
If you want to know what is bothering your pet so you can make their days better set up a reading.