Month: February 2025

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Is Your Pet Not Listening?

Do you think your pet is not listening to you? Is it possible your pet thinks youre the problem?

Animals have natural behaviors that will be there no matter how much we domesticate them. Cats are meant to scratch. When they scratch furniture or corners of your home you are scolding them for what they are suppose to do. This is how they take care of their nails.

Maybe you cat thinks…. “I found the perfect place to keep my nails short and my human took that away from me but didn’t provide another suitable option? What am I suppose to do now?

What about dogs that pull on the leash. They are meant to sniff. Maybe your dog thinks, why won’t my human stop pulling on ME? You think they’re pulling. They think you’re pulling. Who is actually pulling?

See where I am going with this? This applies to every animal species for every behavior. They are NEVER ever trying to break rules. The rules they have are human rules. If you take the behavior and look at it from their perspective you will see maybe they see you as the problem.

This doesn’t mean our animals should run wildly with no rules. We all have rules as humans and as animals. My intention is just to get you to understand their perspective and therefore maybe cut them some slack. And make some decisions. What matters and what doesn’t? Safety does. Nothing else really does.

Let them enjoy life. If you let them sniff (they can sniff without pulling- but they will always pull if not allowed to sniff), ore exercise them often enough, they aren’t going to pull during the entire walk.

If you give your cat a suitable place to scratch and a very CLEAN place to use the bathroom, they’ll use it. Cats are very clean animals.

Pets should not be blamed for doing animal things. Humans should accommodate their natural behaviors as much as possible while keeping them safe. And when we do need to correct their behaviors or improve manners understanding their “why” helps with fair corrections and improved adherence from the pet.

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Anxiety in Animals

Animals suffer from anxiety just like humans.

Sometimes they are born with it. In which case they need the right home to help teach them confidence.

Sometimes past experiences cause it.

Sometimes it comes on as animals age because in general they feel less safe (can’t move as fast, hear as well, etc.)

Sometimes loving guardians cause it. Wait, What?

Yes, many times anxiety is caused inadvertently by loving, caring guardians.

What are some of the causes?

* Lack of exposure to new things (sounds, sights, experiences, places, etc)

* Too much control (not allowing your animal work through fears with guidance and support but instead avoiding all fears)

* Not allowing your animal some time away from you. In this case the animal becomes so dependent on you, they do not develop self soothing, self coping skills.

* Not enough exercise (mental &/or physical)

* Pushing animals into fears too quickly (this is just as damaging as avoiding fears)

* Placing human expectations on them (expecting them to tolerate human things)

Humans like to take care of animals. It feels good. And when they are nervous and we hug them and kiss them, we feel good about comforting them. But the best help we can give them is to teach them confidence (and still hug and kiss them).

When I talk to animals with anxiety they ALL want to be braver or more confident. They don’t want to be afraid. They don’t want anxiety. They want their guardian to help them release the anxiety.

Regardless of the cause it is not fun to live in fear. When you have a pet with anxiety, you as their guardian can help them getting more confident or you can get anxious about their anxiety and cause more anxiety!

Some animals will have anxiety their entire lives (personality, past trauma, etc) and some will get better. As their guardian, help them. They need your help. Many humans just accept their pets have anxiety! But instead try to help them.

* Music, Solfeggios

* More fresh air and sunlight

* Sage the home

* Slow, safe, controlled exposure to fears with professional guidance if needed

* When they are afraid be confident yourself! Tell them how brave they are instead of “It’s ok.”. They understand words and if you say. “It’s ok. “ It makes them feel there is something to worry about.

* Treat them like they are brave (with love, kisses, hugs). And don’t focus on the fear. Focus on something else so they can too. Give them a hug and then say, “OK let’s go over here”, and change the scene, give them something else to think about.

* Ear Plugs, Thunder Vests, Rescue Remedy, there are things that can help without avoiding the fear.

Some will get better. Some won’t (based on their past or age). But either way, your confidence will make them feel safer. If they are nervous and you are too (Even if you are only nervous about how nervous they are!). That is too much for them to carry.

It takes time, patience, love, and a balance of confidence and support but you can help them get better. And trust me, they are asking for help.

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Do Pet’s Feel Guilt?

Animals can not feel guilt. This is a human emotion.

Instead, what you are seeing is your animals reaction to you and your emotion. They don’t feel remorse after going through the trash, scratching something up, or breaking something when you weren’t around. However, when you show up and you are frustrated, they react to YOU. But they do not know why you are frustrated.

So what you see if their attempt at avoiding conflict and avoiding trouble. It is their attempt at showing you they see you are upset and showing you they don’t want to add to your emotion. So they show what we label as signs of guilt. However in an animal’s perspective they are trying to assume a submissive position to avoid conflict, to stay out of trouble, and to show you, they just want to keep the peace.

Animals are experts at reading human emotions. If you look upset, they want to avoid making you more upset. So they try to deescalate the situation by making themselves small, avoiding eye contact, trying to hide, etc. The last thing they want to do is make you more upset than you already are. So they assume their most non threatening positions and actions.

Because of this scolding them or continuing to be frustrated and upset only damages the relationship you have with your animal. When they are doing everything they can to maintain the peace, to avoid trouble/conflict, you scolding them only makes you unjust and unsafe in their eyes.

Unless you caught them in the act, they have no idea why you are upset. Animals are highly communicative beings. When you ignore their communication (them assuming submissive behaviors and actions) in these moments, you will cause them to live in confusion and fear.

Instead, stop and take a breath. Change your energy. Encourage your animal to approach you. They want to help us. They want to be your happy place! If you are upset, they want to comfort you. Let them know it is ok for them to comfort you. Be happy to see them despite the mess you walked into. Because I can promise you they are SO happy to see you every day, in all situations and under all occasions.

The mess is separate from your pet at that moment. If you didn’t catch them in the act there is zero connection in their mind. This is why they are such great teachers for us! You have to let it go. And allow your pet to make you smile. Doing this will create the deepest, truest bond. Your pet will feel SAFE with you. Your pet will continue to communicate with you instead of shutting down.

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Euthanasia

We all know animals want us to stay with them during euthanasia. We have all heard vets talk about the importance of this. There are people that love their pets SO MUCH, that still choose to leave the room. Why? Their hearts can’t take the pain.

Deep love can occasionally cause deep pain. Here are some points from them, not from vets.

Yes, the animals will look for you if you leave. Yes, they want you to be there. Yes, it is incredibly heartbreaking for humans. But think of these things.

  • Most animals do not feel comfortable at the vet. They are nervous because they are so in tune to energy. And the office is filled with nervous fear energy. They feel safe with their guardian. Stay with them to comfort them. They will be less nervous if you are there.
  • They want YOU to be the last thing they see before their transition. They will LOOK for you if you leave. They trusted you to help them transition. If they waited for you to make the choice, the decision, that is because they wanted YOU to be the last person they saw before they gained their wings. They will feel something “went wrong”.
  • They will be confused. Your animal has been by your side every day. They will wonder if they did something wrong or made a mistake because you were not there.

Ask yourself this – If the roles were reversed, would your pet stay by your side no matter how hard it is? One million percent, YES. You see the stories of animals not leaving the location of their guardians. Waiting endlessly. You see the stories of animals staying with the guardians for hours, days, after they have passed until physically being forced to leave.

Not everyone may agree with me but this is my opinion. That kind of loyalty, the kind animals give us, comes with a great responsibility and deserves deep respect. Your animal would NEVER leave you, dont leave your animal.

No matter how bad things get, your pet never leaves your side. Be like your pet. Please. It will hurt. But take the pain, instead of giving it to them. Their heart will hurt if you are not there.

Lastly, we have all made mistakes. If you left your animal because you didn’t know at the time. Apologize to them now. Explain now. It is never too late.

And tell others. Leaving your pet doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Maybe it means you love them so much you choose not to make it more painful than it already is. You will feel pain because of their absence. You are only minimizing the pain felt during the actual transition. And to that I say, after all the years they gave you selfless love and loyalty, putting you before themselves, the 30 minutes in that vet room staying by their side is a very small sacrifice to make for them.

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Spooky Horses

If you have a horse that is easily startled, nervous, anxious or tense, consider playing soft music in the barn.

Horses are herd animals and when they are in stalls they are separated from other horses (aka the herd). They rely on each other for safety. They rely on each other to notify the herd of danger. They are domestic animals that have maintained many of their “wild ancestor” traits.

Playing music in your barn overnight can help horses feel more at ease. This music will muffle many of the sounds that trigger a nervous reaction. If your horse is rested, their performance will be better. Just like athletes.

Music to muffle the sounds will allow your horse to relax and rest. Something they can not do when they are constantly on alert.

I’ve talked about solfeggios and their benefits. However, any relaxing music will do. Think elevator music!

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Happiness

As a pet guardian, no matter what type of animal you have, make happiness more important than obedience.

If you have a happy animal, the animal is better behaved. Most behavioral issues come from stress, anxiety, or confusion. This can happen when obedience becomes more important than happiness.

If you have a happy animal, you wont have to force them to do things. I see this in horses frequently. They are being asked (later forced) to do jobs they don’t enjoy because they have the talent. What happens after? Behavioral issues surface. Health issues surface. Just because an animal can do something, it doesn’t mean the animal is happy doing that something.

The same applies to all animals. Dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, etc… Any pet you have. If your daily routine with your pet is focused on happiness being the most important thing, everything else falls into place effortlessly. The animals make good choices. They respond better to their guardians. They FEEL better. They are relaxed, happy, and internally calm. They might be so happy they aren’t externally calm! LOL

The goal is always happiness. Always.

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Dogs That Jump On People

Dogs get excited when we come home. It can be 5 minutes, or 5 days and they are equally as excited. It feels like FOREVER for them when their best friend is gone.

A lot of dogs jump and get way too excited. I want to try to put this in perspective for you from a dog’s point of view.

Dogs are mentally equivalent to toddlers. When Toddlers get excited they loud and active! As adults when we get excited we learn to contain it more.

Also, you are your dogs whole entire world. They don’t have anything but YOU. So yes they are going to be excited when you come home. They know You are the one that feeds them, loves them, brings them places, etc. And they live only for YOU. Dogs don’t live for themselves.

Dogs are affectionate animals. When your dog sees another familiar dog, a friend, they get excited. They run, play, jump around. So them doing this to you is a honor! You are one of the pack!

But, yes I understand we must teach dogs not to jump up because they could knock over small or elderly people. They could scare people unintentionally.

More to think about. So many trainers will tell you to ignore the dog when you get home and when the dog comes down, acknowledge it and give it attention. Though this works, guess what it does? It hurts your dog’s heart. They feel less loved. .

Imagine the person you love most, being gone, you miss them. When you finally see them you are SO excited and they walk right past you and ignore you. It would hurt your heart. A lot. You would question if that person is happy to see you. Thats how dogs feel.

Or imagine your living parter (kid, spouse), etc. going to run an errand. Coming home, you say “Hello”, and try to talk and they just keep walking away from you ignoring you. You would feel confused, sad, and shut down.

So what you can you do? Because they can’t jump and we want them to know they are loved.

There is a better way to teach them.

I 1000% say acknowledge and love your dog when you come home, every single time. I do. If they get too excited (which many do), instead of ignoring them, scratch them around their neck, under the collar, or on the back of the neck. Both places a dog can not reach well on their own.

It will RELAX them. And, it feels so good! It is a sign of affection and love because you are doing something for them. And, you are acknowledging them. And, most importantly, it will calm them. They will immediately stop jumping or bouncing around wildly.

This is a favorite spot for the major of dogs. But maybe your dog has a different favorite spot. If so, use that one. Find the spot that makes your dog turn into a noodle. I can tell you it is going to be a spot your pet can’t reach on their own. Use this every time you walk in the door. It will change wild and jumpy dogs into relaxed dogs. And if you have a dog that is quiet when greeting, scratch them anyway because it will show them you are happy to see them.

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