The difference between the owner I was and the guardian I am now is so different. I have always been an animal lover. But, I was an owner. Now, I am a guardian. Both were animal lovers. But both gave my pets very different lives.

As an owner, I didn’t necessarily think I was dominant over my dogs or horses or other animals, but I did think I “owned” them. I loved them. I snuggled with them. I mourned hard when they would cross the rainbow bridge. I felt we were partners. I felt I was giving them the best I could. I felt I was doing everything right. But, I was so wrong.

As an owner, I didn’t necessarily think I was dominant over my dogs or horses or other animals, but I did think I “owned” them. I loved them. I snuggled with them. I mourned hard when they would cross the rainbow bridge. I felt we were partners. I felt I was giving them the best I could. I felt I was doing everything right. But, I was so wrong.

My dogs were made to walk right by my side, sit when I stopped, not pull, heel, etc. They were not allowed on my bed (I had one that was a biter, very aggressive). I gave them so much training and structure they never could be dogs. They didn’t get to sniff on walks. I would play with them, throw the ball, etc. But they didn’t get to just be dogs. I would talk loud if they didn’t listen. I never yelled, but I talked much louder than I should have. I would say “NO” loudly and sternly. I am not proud of that.

I worked with many dog trainers. This is what I was taught. This is what I thought was right. This is all I knew. I never hit them. I never hurt them. But I was not at all doing what I should have been doing. Not even close. When I look back, I consider myself to have been the type of person I would never want my dogs to be with now even though I loved them with every ounce of my heart. I forced them to do things, even though I didn’t physically hurt them. I controled their behaviors even though I didn’t physically hurt them. There is no doubt in my mind they were emotionally not the happiest they could have been.

My horses lived good lives, outside, lots of turnout, but I don’t like the way I was taught to ride. I don’t like the way I was taught to train. But at the time, it’s all I knew so it’s what I did. The feedback of the horse was not taken enough into consideration. I rode with international riders many, many times. And it was not any better. In fact, it may have been worse. But when it is what you’ve been taught, all you know, and the nature of the sport you don’t question it.

Only once I started hearing animals speak did I realize how wrong I was all along. My animals now are happier than I have ever seen. After years of having every kind of animal imaginable, the animals I have in this phase of my life are finally living the life animals deserve to live. They are understood. They are allowed to express opinions. They are allowed to sniff, to chew, to run, to play. The horses enjoy their jobs. When they don’t understand I take more time, more clarity. And, all of the animals are a million times easier to live with. They are a million times LESS work. And they are a million times better behaved. Zero behavior issues, EVER! And I never had to teach them NOT to have behavior issues. They aren’t strugging to try to tell me things because I hear them when they whisper now (and I dont mean because of my gift, I mean just because I look at them differently now). I see their behaviors as their communication and I make adjustments for them.

I wish I had known this when I was a kid. But, I am raising my kids this way now. We can only do the best we can do based on the information we have. We’ve all done things in the past we aren’t happy with, things we feel guilt about. We can’t go back and fix it but we can keep getitng better for our pets. We can teach the next generation all the things that took us too long to learn. And if we do that, we can create a generation that is kinder, more empathetic, more open to allowing animals to be themselves.

My relationship with every animal around me is completely different than it was. And way back then, I was still regarded as one of the kindest, softest, best animal “owners” around. But I’m not an owner anymore. I am a guardian. I am here to protect them, to take care of them physically and emotionally. I am here to make sure their time on this earth is as easy as it can be for them. Love is necessary. But love is not always enough. I’ve learned that through experience. The love I have for the animals has never changed, but the way I interact with them and the way I look at them has. They are individual beings, meant to be whoe they are, some easy, some hard. They are not here for me to control or change. They are here for me to protect, love, and nuture and to honor them for who they are, as their guardian.