Do You Expect Too Much?

The world we live in expects way too much of domestic animals. We ask them to be something other than what they are because our world is human centered. We do this by asking them NOT to engage in behaviors that ARE who they are (dogs, cats, horses, etc…). Why? Because those behaviors don’t line up with human life.

Our pets are doing their best to understand our world, adapt to it, and to live in it. We humanize them. This is not terrible. In fact, it is often how we show love. And yes, they DO have all the emotions humans have, so it’s easy to do.

But… we have to remember they are still animals. They still have instincts, even though they are domestic. And since they are a different species than us, their needs are different. Expecting them to let go of the traits and the behaviors that are part of who they are is unfair. Yet, so many of us do it. Most of us do it to some degree.

Despite this, the amount of patience and forgiveness they continue to extend to us is unwavering. It’s mind blowing actually. No matter how many times YOU ask them to be something they aren’t, they still try. And most of the time they follow our rules that take away most of their natural behaviors. It’s quite sad actually.

The majority of pets in this world are misunderstood or held to unreasonable expectations. But, they are loved. Love isn’t enough. You owe it to your pet to allow them to be what they are. A dog, a cat, a horse, a bird, etc..)

Please take the time to read through this if you love your pet. It may just give you a different perspective and make you realize you might be expecting too much.

You may skip to the section relevant to the type of pets you have, but please take note at the end there is a paragraph that applies to ALL species of pets. Please visit that too!

Let’s start wtih dogs because they are so popular.

Barking – We ask them not to bark, tell them to “shut up” at times. Their bark is their VOICE! Imagine if you could never talk. How frusteraed would you be? They bark for a reason. You may not know what that reason is but they have one. Maybe it is just to be heard! Maybe they are frusterated with always being told NOT to use your voice. Maybe, they are protecting or alerting you, the only way they know how. What may not seem like danger to you, can seem like danger to them. And when you shame them for doing so, that hurts their heart. When they bark, thank them. Please, I beg you, thank them. They are simply displaying DOG behaviors. They have a voice too.

Sniffing – We’ve all seen the memes. Sniffing is like reading email for dogs. It’s like a phone call or a text. It’s like browsing the internet. It’s how they gather information. They need to gather information to feel safe, secure, and enriched. If you always pull them away from tings they are sniffing they lose the ability to gather information. They will feel more confused, more afraid, and more unsure. They will feel like they are missing out on something. How many times do you search the internet, read a book, get a call or a text? You gather information for the vast majority of the day. Can you allow them the same? Don’t rush them on walks. Let them sniff. If you come home with something new, show them and let them sniff. If you don’t allow them to sniff, they feel isolated and frusterated. They need an expanded world, like we do. Too much of their lives are spent just in our house. They need MORE. And sniffing can expand their world. When you walk, and even just bringing new things into the house.

Pulling – Quite simply, dogs walk faster than us. That is why they pull. Why do we have to force them to walk slower? If you can’t let them off leash, YOU walk faster. Are they pulling because you never let them sniff? Let them sniff. They want to be in front to keep you safe. Pulling is not disobedienace, it’s dogs being dogs.

Now I understand they can be injured pulling (neck, windpipe, etc) so we do have to find modifications (harness, walk faster, or simply, let them walk in front of you).

Digging/Chewing – This is a natural behavior for dogs. It provides comfort, relaxation, and enruchment. It’s part of who they are, it’s that simple. If we do not give them the opportunity to do these things we are taking away their core behaviors. The behaviors that keep them mentally healthy and stimulated. Behaviors they find FUN and fufilling because it is in their DNA to do these things. We have domesticated them but they still hold onto species specific behaviors and that is what these are.

Emotions- How often do we ask dogs not to show emotions? Almost always. When dogs get excited, we ask them to calm down. That is how they show excitment! Jumping around, bouncing, running, etc.. It’s their expression of joy, happiness, and love.

When they growl or show teeth they are requesting space in THEIR language. They are asking kindly even though it seems they aren’t. To them, it IS kind. It is a warning. They are telling you they are NOT comfortable, they don’t feel safe, or they just need a break. When you are in those situations you can walk out and leave. Or, we’ve all done it, we snap… yell for a minute, slam a door, then feel better. That’s all dogs are doing! But they are doing it in the only way they know how. The way that has been bred into their species. Yet we ask them NOT to show their emotions. Imagine having to keep your inside? As a human, you’d eventually explode. Guess what… they do too.

These are just a few ways we ask dogs to be something other than who they are.

Now Cats….

Hunting – We ask domestic cats to live inside and this prevents them from engaging in the natural behavior of hunting. Something that provides them with mental and physical enrichment and exercise. When they aren’t allowed to hunt, they will bite and scratch humans, fight with other cats, or do anyhing they can to mimick hunting behavior. They don’t know any other way! Yes keeping them inside is safer, so I agree with that. But if you are going to do that, you must provide hunting simulation. Either by playing WITH them in hunting fashion or providing visual stalking enrishment (bird feeder, TV, etc..)

Scratching – Not only do humans expect cats NOT to scratch walls or furniture, sometimes they even declaw them! Scratching is a natural behavior for cats. It provides comfort, relaxation, and enruchment. It’s part of who they are, it’s that simple. It’s how they keep their area clean when they use the bathroom (burying it). It is a core part of being a cat. So please give them places to scratch. Their wellness depedns on it.

Hissing/Biting – This is their communication. It is how they tell you when they are uncomfortable, feel unsafe, or need space. It is like they ASKING you to leave them alone. Not if you don’t listen to their polite ask, YES they will probably bite harder, attack, etc… But in their defense they already warned you. If they are showig you they are not OK with something, it is unfair to ignore their request and force something on them. Asking them to keep their emotions inside is NOT healthy or fair.

Ok, how about horses?

Stalls – Horses are meant to walk and graze. Their digestion is dependent on movement. When we ask them to live in stalls we are taking away their bodies ability to digest properly. We are taking away their enrichment and exercise. Having a horse in a stall for more than a few hours is no different than having a dog in a crate. Why do horse people feel it’s different? It isn’t. Some horses live in stalls 22 hours a day. If anyone had a dog in a crate for 22 hours people would be up in arms about it. But it’s ok for horses? Why? The ratio of the size of the area compared to the size of the animal is the same. Horses need to be outside, moving, for as many hours as possible. They need it mentally and for their physical health.

Kicking/biting – This is the way they communicate that something hurts or is making them scared or uncomfortable. Can it hurt us? Yes, it can! But, if we choose to work with these big animals we are choosing to take that risk. If you punish them for showing you something hurts, they will stop showing you until it becomes so unbearable they explode. And they it will be a lot more dangerous for you.

Bucking/rearing – When we put horses under saddle we again are accepting the risk that their behavior may hurt us because of their size. But it is again unfair to punish them for displaying these behaviors (bucking, rearing, etc). Those behaviors are them telling us something horse, something is confusing, or it’s just too much pressure. They are communicating with us the only way they know how. So instead of punishing them, take a step back and be softer, fix your riding, allow them grace. THANK THEM for showing you something is not right. It is a privledge to ride a horse, they do not owe that to us. So if it is not 100% comfortable for them, YES they should tell us in the way they can. And YES, we should change something so it IS 100% comfortable for them. But humans have a hard time accepting they (the human) is the one making the mistake. Trust me… it’s almost always the human.

Now what about ALL the animals as a collective …

All of the animals I have mentioned are herd, pack, colony, etc.. They are bred to ive in groups of some sort. Yet, we keep horses alone. We ask dogs to be the only, cats to the be only. Imagine being the ONLY human in a group of dogs?? Ok wait, that might actually be pretty awesome!

Seriously though, imagine being the only human, in a group that speaks an entirely different language and lives an entirely different lifestyle. Could you be as patient as your pets are? Companionship of the same species is important for ALL living beings. (Yes I do know there are rare exceptions of animals that don’t get along with others).

But also, remember on the flip side, our animals do not have to like every human they meet, every dog they meet, every cat they meet, or every horse they meet. The same goes for goats, birds, rabbits, etc.. All animals have personality and energy and some won’t get along with each other. And that is ok! Just like you will have best friends, acquaintences, and others you don’t really like too much. Animals should be allowed the same opinions on others. They are individuals like us.

Now I am NOT an advocate of rehoming pets. So when household pets don’t get along, I do truly beleive it is the humans responsibility to accommodate. Have differen parts of the house for each animal, work through the dislike as much as possible, allow decompression and personal space. The paragraph about is more about not expecting your pet to be a social butterfly. Some will be, some won’t. Honor who they are.

Now let’s talk about animals and humans. We love them… oh do we love them! we want to kiss them, hold them, pat them. But sometimes they need space! Just like we do. If they are not in the mood to be kissed, hugged, petted, give them space. Don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just need quiet time now and then like we do. They don’t have to accept being kissed and hugged every waking moment. Sometimes they want peace and quiet. You know your pet. Show them love, but when they walk away because they have had enough, let them walk away. Don’t chase them. Don’t hold them forcing them to stay. Let them leave.

Honor their personality. Don’t try to change it. Honor their species. They are bred to be a certain way. Honor their forgiveness and patience. When you think about how challenging their world is, even in a home full of love, it truly gives you a different appreciation for how much they tolerate

My passion and my reason for doing this job is for these animals to be heard and understood in a world that asks so much for them. If you read this, you are trying. Thank you. Thank you for trying to learn how to understand them and create a better world for them.

October 3, 2025October 3, 2025

Accomodate Your Animals

Accommodate your pets

If you move, take them. You would take your child.

If your pet develops a behavioral issue, show them love, patience and understanding. Change what is happening. Don’t blame them or give up on them. Their behavior is their communication. They are trying to tell you something is wrong.

If you have a baby, keep your pet. It takes time, patience and understanding. Teach your pet how to be safe and respectful near your baby. Teach your child to be safe and respectful around your pet. The same expectation goes both ways.

If you adopt a pet, you are committed. It won’t be easy right away. It won’t be easy for a while. But be patient, make accommodations, make changes, make it EASY for your pet. It should be easy for them, hard for you. Not the opposite. But if you expect it to be easy for you, it will be hard for them. Give them TIME. So much time. These are the sacrifices we make to make them feel safe, loved, welcomed, and relaxed.

If something in your home or routine doesn’t work for your pet, change it. Don’t try to change the pet’s behavior or reaction.

Don’t give up on your pet. When it’s the hardest, that is when they need YOU most. They need your love, your patience, your understanding. They need you to help them. Not give up on them.

If your pet needs exercise, accommodate. If your pet needs your time, accommodate. If your pet needs to avoid a certain situation or person, accommodate. If your pet needs space, accommodate. This is how you build trust, love and a true relationship with them.

Animals are too often expected to adapt to our lives. But the trust is, they are the ones that are less capable so we need to adapt our lives to THEM. Just like we would with children. When you have a child your life will change. The same applies when you have animals. Expect your life to change.

Animals are willing to do anything and everything we ask if we take the time to teach them slowly and in a way they can understand. There is no purer form of love or loyalty on this planet.

September 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Do You Have A Licker?

How many of you have pets that lick you or themselves excessively? I’m not talking the pet’s that lick rugs, walls, grass, etc… That kind of licking usually is a result of digestive issues.

But animals that lick humans, themselves, or other animals, those pets are healers.

They are highly sensitive to energy absorbing, energy healing, and energy clearing.

I have one. He licks me constantly, he licks himself like a cat, he licks his fur siblings, he licks my kids. He even licks guests!

These animals lick more than normal. A lot more than normal. Why?

They are clearing and removing unwanted and heavy, negative, low vibrational energy from their body or from the body of others. Licking is a way for these animals to remove the energy. They are healing us, they are helping us, they are removing it from themselves and others so they don’t become ill.

Normal means of removing it (wind, sun, bushing, flicking, zoomies), are NOT enough because they absorb so much more than most animals. They are also highly sensitive so it feels heavier and more uncomfortable on them than it does on most animals. So they lick it off.

BUT… guess what? These animals often have digestive issues, stomach issues, and diarrhea occurrences. They ingest the energy into their body. They also tend to have skin issues.

Is there any way to help them? Yes. These animals need more flicking (your hand flicking the energy off them gently), more brushing (brush the energy off), more sun, more wind, more fresh air, more running. All of these things help them. But even so, it is often not enough. They’ll still need to do a lot on their own.

These animals truly are special healers sent to us in this world to sacrifice their comfort in order to help others. They know it. They accepted the job. They are honored to do it.

If you share your life with a special healer like this, thank them for their service. And do everything you can every day to help them clear their energy. Allow them to lick (you, them, others). It’s their job, their purpose. Help them clear. Try to manage your energy so they have less “work” to do.

If you have one of these animals you will be SURE. Because when I say they lick more… its not just a little, its A LOT. It’s annoying until you understand WHY.

Photo is of my “licker” and healer, Titan.

September 25, 2025September 25, 2025

Reacting to Reactive Pets

When our animal “react” they need our support not our discipline. They need kind leadership, not punishment.

“Reactions” come from uncertainty or fear. Think of a reaction as a cry for help. That’s what it is. Animals are like children, they really are. If you child is scared or uncertain you would deescalate the situation, not make it worse with yelling, screaming or assertive tactics. Do the same for your pet.

* Be calm

* Be a leader (which means be confident) that they KNOW will keep them safe. So many people get nervous BEFORE their pet reacts… this is why the animal reacts! The human is scared, so the animal thinks there is something to be afraid of!

* Be proactive. If you know there is something that triggers your pet, avoid it when you can. This creates less stress hormone in them.

* Have a plan. A plan that involves deesclation with calmness, patience and clarify.

* Take your pet to a quiet spot after a reaction. Let the animal unwind and relax. Hug them, kiss them, comfort them. This is not rewarding “bad” behavior. This is showing them they are safe and giving them time for the stress hormones to subside. After a “reaction” it takes time for the stress level to go down. They need quiet space and love for this to happen. And you have 3 seconds when correcting animals, 3 seconds that’s it! By the time you get out of the trigger space, 3 seconds have passed. So if you are angry at your animal, scolding your dog, etc… your pet has NO IDEA why. Too much time has passed.

We MUST take care of our animals mental health. This is so often overlooked with pets. But it should not be. Allowing them to unwind, post reaction, with love, hugs and comfort is not rewarding them. It is letting them know they are safe and loved with you. It is mental health time, for them.

September 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Empaths

Every pet is an empath. The term gets used loosely in our human world but animals are the real deal. True empaths.

Humans can experience empathy (this is different than being an empath). And there are a small percentage of humans that are true empaths. But every single animal IS a true empath.

That’s why they know how you feel even if you try to hide it. That’s why they absorb your energy. They are emotional sponges for ALL emotions, good and bad.

This is why many develop behavior issues or physical illness and disease. They become overwhelmed by the information overload from YOUR emotions.

This is why they connect so deeply with their humans.

This is why some animals do not enjoy being in crowds or around certain human individuals. They are sensitive to the energy of others but also the energy of the environment.

They have heightened emotional sensitivity compared to the majority of humans.

This is why they get overjoyed with excitement when they see you. But also why they take it so personally if they make a mistake or when you hurt their feelings.

Because they are so emotionally sensitive it is easy to see why those that suffer from abuse (physical or emotional) or neglect carry that for so long.

It is also easy to see how anxious or naughty behaviors develop.

If every time you interact with your pet, you remembered they are empaths, how would that change the way you engage? Especially during times they misunderstand or make a mistake.

Lastly, if you stop and think about how your pet is an emotional sponge (a trait of an empath), how much better would you manage YOUR emotions, stresses, and frustrations for THEIR benefit? Being more emotionally intelligent, more emotionally regulated, and more emotionally balanced directly increases your pets quality of life. And quite frankly, their life expectancy.

Every single one of you are sharing your life and your home with an empath animal. A TRUE empath. Let that sink in. Let that really sink in.

August 30, 2025August 30, 2025

Bringing Home A New Baby

Bringing a baby into a home is a huge adjustment for pets. New smells, new sounds, less attention, changes in routine and energy in the home.

I firmly believe children that are raised (appropriately) around animals are blessed. They become empathetic, loving and kind.

When you first bring a new baby home expect your pet to be unsure. They will sense your fatigue, anxiety, worry and stress.

They will try to be involved because they are part of the family! They might not be happy at first, but they’ll learn with time and patience.

They deserve that. Your time, your patience and your understanding. If you have a toddler and you bring a new baby home you explain things in depth and you teach your toddler how to behave around the new baby. Your pet deserves the same.

Please don’t expect just to know they aren’t suppose to lick, jump, scratch, etc. they need to be taught patiently. They need to be loved and included.

It’s ok to keep your pet on a leash for safety Initially. But please don’t isolate or ignore your pet. You wouldn’t do that to a toddler child. That will cause the wrong behaviors to manifest. And your pet will feel unimportant and discarded. Undesirable Behaviors will reflect this.

There will be jealousy. There will be confusion and uncertainty. But if you treat your pet the way you would treat your toddler who is welcoming home their first sibling, you will end up with an animal that adores your baby.

So bring home items that smell like the baby before the baby comes home. Give these to your pet. Show the pet the new areas for the baby. Make it FUN for your pet. Include your pet, while keeping everyone (baby and pet) safe. Your family can grow WITH your pet. And everyone, including your pet, can be happy and feel loved. Your pet deserves the time, patience, and inclusion. They would never ignore or isolate you.

And please, teach your baby/child to be gentle with your pet when that time comes. I see too many pets tolerating things they are unfair.

And as a bonus pets are GREAT at making babies and kids laugh!! And they make great best friends for kids.

August 22, 2025August 22, 2025

The Guardian I am Now Vs The Owner I was

The difference between the owner I was and the guardian I am now is so different. I have always been an animal lover. But, I was an owner. Now, I am a guardian. Both were animal lovers. But both gave my pets very different lives.

As an owner, I didn’t necessarily think I was dominant over my dogs or horses or other animals, but I did think I “owned” them. I loved them. I snuggled with them. I mourned hard when they would cross the rainbow bridge. I felt we were partners. I felt I was giving them the best I could. I felt I was doing everything right. But, I was so wrong.

My dogs were made to walk right by my side, sit when I stopped, not pull, heel, etc. They were not allowed on my bed (I had one that was a biter, very aggressive). I gave them so much training and structure they never could be dogs. They didn’t get to sniff on walks. I would play with them, throw the ball, etc. But they didn’t get to just be dogs. I would talk loud if they didn’t listen. I never yelled, but I talked much louder than I should have. I would say “NO” loudly and sternly. I am not proud of that.

I worked with many dog trainers. This is what I was taught. This is what I thought was right. This is all I knew. I never hit them. I never hurt them. But I was not at all doing what I should have been doing. Not even close. When I look back, I consider myself to have been the type of person I would never want my dogs to be with now even though I loved them with every ounce of my heart. I forced them to do things, even though I didn’t physically hurt them. I controled their behaviors even though I didn’t physically hurt them. There is no doubt in my mind they were emotionally not the happiest they could have been.

My horses lived good lives, outside, lots of turnout, but I don’t like the way I was taught to ride. I don’t like the way I was taught to train. But at the time, it’s all I knew so it’s what I did. The feedback of the horse was not taken enough into consideration. I rode with international riders many, many times. And it was not any better. In fact, it may have been worse. But when it is what you’ve been taught, all you know, and the nature of the sport you don’t question it.

Only once I started hearing animals speak did I realize how wrong I was all along. My animals now are happier than I have ever seen. After years of having every kind of animal imaginable, the animals I have in this phase of my life are finally living the life animals deserve to live. They are understood. They are allowed to express opinions. They are allowed to sniff, to chew, to run, to play. The horses enjoy their jobs. When they don’t understand I take more time, more clarity. And, all of the animals are a million times easier to live with. They are a million times LESS work. And they are a million times better behaved. Zero behavior issues, EVER! And I never had to teach them NOT to have behavior issues. They aren’t strugging to try to tell me things because I hear them when they whisper now (and I dont mean because of my gift, I mean just because I look at them differently now). I see their behaviors as their communication and I make adjustments for them.

I wish I had known this when I was a kid. But, I am raising my kids this way now. We can only do the best we can do based on the information we have. We’ve all done things in the past we aren’t happy with, things we feel guilt about. We can’t go back and fix it but we can keep getitng better for our pets. We can teach the next generation all the things that took us too long to learn. And if we do that, we can create a generation that is kinder, more empathetic, more open to allowing animals to be themselves.

My relationship with every animal around me is completely different than it was. And way back then, I was still regarded as one of the kindest, softest, best animal “owners” around. But I’m not an owner anymore. I am a guardian. I am here to protect them, to take care of them physically and emotionally. I am here to make sure their time on this earth is as easy as it can be for them. Love is necessary. But love is not always enough. I’ve learned that through experience. The love I have for the animals has never changed, but the way I interact with them and the way I look at them has. They are individual beings, meant to be whoe they are, some easy, some hard. They are not here for me to control or change. They are here for me to protect, love, and nuture and to honor them for who they are, as their guardian.

August 6, 2025August 6, 2025

Your Equal

When you see your animals as equals instead of something you “own” your entire relationship will change for the better.
I have always loved animals. I have always been an animal person. I always did the best I knew how to do and followed what I thought was the right way to do things. I was always kind, never forceful. My animals have always been happy and loved. They were always happy.

But, I didn’t always see their behaviors from their perspective. I saw it through mine in my 20s and early 30s. Once I started really communicating with animals, lots of them, I started seeing their behavior from their perspective and it changed everything!
I had happy animals, but now? Now my animals are a new level of happiness. There isn’t an underlying confusion on their end. My relationships with them is so different in the best way! What I thought was the best it could be, wasn’t even the tip of the best it could be!

So now my goal is to help others realize how much things change for you and your pets when you see everything they do from their perspective. Not your projected perception. Their actual perception. Everything they do stems from love, acceptance, and a desire to try to make their guardian proud and keep heir guardian safe. They will never understand our perspective, they aren’t wired that way.
When you see behaviors through their perspective your pets will not be confused or scared, ever! And the relationship between the two of you will reflect that!

July 31, 2025July 31, 2025

Don’t Discourage Communication

Guardians shut down their animals efforts to communicate frequently. They unintentionally discourage their animals from communicating and then wonder why their animals do “bad” things.

Animals will use a growl, a hiss, ears back, showing teeth, etc.. as a warning that theyre uncomfortable and their limits are being pushed. As humans we can use words to communicate to others when we feel those things. Animals can’t. Those growls, hisses, ears pinned, teeth showing, those are their forms of communication.

It is the ONLY way they can tell us they aren’t comfortable, they are scared, they feel threatened, or they are reaching their limit, running out of patience. They are not threatening you they are ASKING you to stop doing whatever it is that is bothering them.

When you discipline them for these behaviors that are normal communication for them, you shut them down. They won’t keep trying to communicate with you. They will try to hold it together for as long as they can, silently, and then snap when they just can’t take it anymore.

That is unfair to them.

Animals have limits like we do and they should be respected. When they are uncomfortable, we should respect that too and allow them space.

They can only tolerate so much. They are animals with thoughts and emotions and personalities like us.

When you shut down their efforts to communicate, not only do you make their lives more stressful, you are also making them lose trust in you. It’s not about discipline, it is about respect for them as living beings that are doing their best to find their way in a human focused world.

July 21, 2025July 22, 2025

It Takes SO Long

We all hear the 3-3-3 rule. It takes a rescue animal 3 days to decompress, 3 weeks to settle in, and 3 months to feel at home. If more people allowed animals this time, there would be far less failed adoptions.

BUT, Im here to say I don’t think it’s enough.

Please take the time to read this entirely. I volunteer a ton in rescue. I also talk to thousands of animals every year. I have adopted my own personal animals. I see and hear how hard it is for them to settle in. I see and hear how quickly they are expected to understand and know expectations. I see and hear how quickly they are expected to be “easy”.

I have seen and heard it so much, I have known for a long time, 3 -3-3 is NOT enough. Not even close. I have adopted my own animals, and I know 3-3-3 isn’t enough. Most importantly, despite the above, I just saw how long it takes.

When we adopt animals we often don’t know they prior, so yes in 3 months it seems they are settled in, feel at home, and now showing us their truest and best selves. Nope. They aren’t. We just don’t have anything to compare it to. We most often never knew them before trauma or before their previous guardian. We never knew them before their life got hard, or before their life fell apart.

For the first time, I did. My dad died in April of 2024. I took his dog into our family. It was a time consuming, extremely difficult transition because of my dog, TItan. That’s an entirely different story. Anyway, of course Buck (my dad’s dog) needed 3-3-3. His whole world had been turned upside down. Thankfully, he knew us though. We (my kids and I), have a neighboring house to my Dad’s property.

In a few months, yes, he seemed happy. He seemed more at home. The dog dynamics in the house were starting to settle. Buck was happy! He knew our routines. He caused no trouble at all. He truly tried to stay out of the way and not be noticed. Why? He was stressed and didn’t know anything about our home and our routine and our expectations, even though he knew us. And he was grieving his old life. Animals will grieve their old life, whether it was good or bad. It is what they know. And they love unconditionally even if their previous guardian was not kind.

Over the course of the last year Buck has been exactly the same. Happy, tail wagging, no trouble, quiet. However, for the last 2-3 weeks, 15 months after my dad died, my kids and I have randomly said ” Wow, Buck looks really happy today!”, or ” He is really acting like this is his home. “

Over the last 2-3 weeks we have seen a HUGE change in him. Huge! He is a totally different dog. We knew him before, but we didn’t live with him. So of course when we’d go over to visit he was very happy just like any dog would be with visitors. But we didn’t see him all day every day in his day to day routine with my dad.

So when he came to live with us, yes he was happy. He showed it. But only during the last 2-3 weeks have we seen him shine differently. Sparkle differently in the eyes. Be extra happy! Just really act like he fits in here, like he knows this is home now.

It took him 15 months. It doesn’t mean every dog will take this long, but I can tell you they need a year. A solid year. Some will be less than 15 months and some longer. Buck is a dog that came to us without any baggage from past trauma. He lost his guardian, that is trauma, but it is not like an animal that has been bounced around between many homes, shelters, or the streets. He wasn’t a dog that took a long cross country journey to get to us. He wasn’t a dog that had been neglected, abused, or tied out on a chain his entire life. Add these traumas and it will take longer.

He was raised in a loving, kind, patient home from the time he was 8 weeks old. We started with the most stable, balanced, easy going temperament. We started with a dog that had correct and consistent training from day 1. We started with a dog that knew us, so he at least didn’t feel like we were total strangers. And it STILL took 15 months.

Now think about your rescue pet.

Were you a stranger? Someone completely unknown?

Do you know their history? Was there abuse, trauma, neglect?

Has your pet been bounced around between homes, shelters, the streets?

Has your pet taken a long transport journey to get to you?

Has your pet been sitting in a shelter for months? Years?

Has your pet lost hope?

Has your pet ever had any training? Proper training? Consistent training?

If you answered yes to any of those, expect it to take longer. We rarely adopt a dog like Buck that has been raised in a loving, kind and patient home. Unfortunately, most discarded animals were discarded because they didn’t end up with the best guardians, or they never had a guardian at all. Yes, there are exceptions. But the majority have had confusing, inconsistent, and unkind or unloving homes prior to abandonment.

So please, give your adopted animals a year.

This even applies to horses who are sold, not because they are discarded, but because it is the nature of the business.

Give adopted animals a year.

In my opinion, this is not made public enough because if humans knew it takes a year, or more, for an animal to be its best self, to fit seamlessly into your home, and to feel at home, many people would shy away. Too much time and too much effort in a world where we want easy and quick and perfect.

I promise when you wait that year or year and a half and see the change in your animal, you will be so happy. They deserve it. Animals don’t have it easy in this world. In fact, it’s really hard for them to be in a human centered world. We need more humans to start understanding them better, giving them more time and patience, and showing more kindness and empathy. We need humans to take the discarded and love them. Wait as long as it takes for them to settle, open up, and feel at home. Love & patience are foreign to many of them. And that is heart breaking. And we need humans to step up and slow down and stop trying to rush the process.