Let’s talk about “Yes” And “ No”. We can teach our animals these words just like we teach “sit”, “stay”, Etc.
Most humans use “No” very assertively, loudly, aggressively, with a deep (mean) voice, etc… This is unnecessary and just scares your pet. Your pet doesn’t learn what the word “No” means, they just know in that moment you are upset, angry, frustrated, etc. and they don’t know why!
Instead teach them what “No” actually means. It means to stop doing whatever they are doing. This is done with a REGULAR, calm voice. It becomes a request, not an emotional trigger for your pet. When you teach them use the word “No”, calmly, quietly and in a regular voice and tone. Move them away from whatever they are doing that you disapprove of, and reward them for discontinuing the disapproved behavior. The reward should be fun, happy and upbeat!
You can say “No”, and when your pet stops whatever it’s doing or you move your pet away, then say “Good!” Or “Yes!”, excited, happily and fun! Your pet will soon learn when you say No, a reward /happiness/ APPROVAL comes when they stop!
Then guess what? It’s not an emotional trigger for them. It’s not a reason for them to feel like they let you down. It’s a reason for them to SUCCEED, to get your approval, to FEEL GOOD!
See how that changes the energy? Then, when you catch your pet doing something you don’t want them to do, you can say it calmly, quietly, and regularly, and they will stop and wait for your approval. Just make sure you give it to them if you wan this to keep working.
This is a TOTALLY different spin on the word “No”, compared to what most humans do and use with animals. I promise it will change EVERYTHING. This is what I mean by learning to show up better for your pets and communicate in THEIR way, not yours. Communicate with respect.
Now the word “Yes”. You can teach your animals if they are unsure (because once they truly know the meaning of “No”, they will look at you for approval), you can teach them “ Yes” means they may proceed with their request. They are allowed to ask for things too!
You can teach your animals the MEANING of “Yes” and “No”, and when you do communication starts to go BOTH ways. They will ask you for permission before engaging in activities that are foreign or unknown (with eye contact). And you can tell them, “ Yes” or “No”.
It’s really cool and it really will deepen your relationship and improve communication. Like everything else though it takes time and consistency to teach them what those words mean. But it is worth the time and effort.
And again, when teaching animals EVERYONE that engages with that animal has to be consistent with their requests and method of requests and use of words for animals to learn without confusion.
