When you are trying to teach your pets new things, make it fun!
When you are trying to get your animals to listen or respond to you, make it fun!
I see so many guardians try to distract “misbehavior” with frustration or anger. This NEVER works with animals. They don’t see the behavior as the problem. They see YOU as the problem. They don’t want to approach YOU because of your energy.
Animals are such highly energetic beings. Our best communication with them will come from our energy.
If your dog won’t come back when you call it, calling angrily or with frustration or authority won’t help. Would you want to go back to someone who is mad? But if you are happy and excited, your dog will want to come back to you!
If your horse is not yielding off the leg or not going forward and you keep hitting or kicking it, do you really think that will make the horse want to go? Nope! It makes the horse tense. But! If you make it fun, just go for a gallop, the horse will then want to have FUN!
If your cat is scratching something and you yell or make a loud noise to distract it, you’re just making your cat nervous, but if you distract your cat with an alternative FUN activity/game, your cat will crave the game, more than the inappropriate scratching spot.
Animals learn best through ignoring the negative and using positive distractions and techniques. It’s actually very simple. They will learn faster. They will trust you more. Communication between the two of you will improve. They will be happier. You will be happier. Because happy pets are easier to live with.
This applies to all species. Try it, I promise it will work better than frustration and anger. You aren’t rewarding undesirable (aka bad) behavior with positive and fun tactics, you are showing them how much better and more fun “good” behavior is. Its changing their thoughts and their focus. And ignoring undesirable behavior.
Our pets absorb all of our low emotions. It’s their job.
* Sadness
* Anger
* Negativity
* Often times even our illness
They want to protect us so they will absorb all of this from us. If we don’t help them clear these emotions, they will become ill, depressed, or act out with nuisance behaviors.
A couple days ago I talked about leaving your emotions at the door before you walk in the house. This protects your pet and minimizes the low vibrations we bring into the house. But our pets will still absorb negative emotions from us, from visitors leaving energy in the house, from life with us (their guardian!) etc.. It is inevitable. So here is what you can do to help them release it. Especially when times are very stressful.
* Allow them time outside to be grounded (if they are not solely inside pets). Going out and touching their paws to Mother Earth helps release energy.
* Inside pets – this is why they lay in the sun! The sun provides a natural energy cleansing. If you see your pet lying in the sunlight indoors, they are cleansing.
* Give your pet permission to release – Thank your pet for unselfishly absorbing your heavy energy and emotions. Tell your pet they do not need to hold that for you. Then (with your hand or a pet brush) brush their entire body with a flicking motion as you visualize the heavy energy being brushed off their body. Do this once a week or more if under stressful situations or immediately following a confrontation or low energy situation. This is why so many animals love to be brushed. They know it clears their energy. (Unless their matted, then it hurts!)
* Meditate with your pet. We meditate to balance ourselves. Our pets need the same. Go to where your animal is relaxed, sit with your animal, where your animal is comfortable. Set an intention to include your animal. Take a couple deep breaths. Feel you are breathing in the energy of your pet. Then breathe out the energy that you want them to release. They will feel this and start to relax and release even more during the meditation. In closing, ask your guides to protect your pet.
Keeping your pets energy balanced will help them live longer, happier lives.
Let’s talk about our pet’s reactivity again. So many humans expect reactivity in animals just to vanish! If the reactivity seems like it is unreasonable, frankly it might be… but let me give you something to think about.
How many of you are overly reactive when it’s unnecessary? Most humans are. Some have a fear of spiders and over react, even scream when seeing one. Reality? How can that little tiny spider hurt you? It can’t. But that doesn’t minimize your reactivity or fear.
Heights? Unless you have fallen, is that fear necessary? Nope. Psychological? I’ve seen people cry out of fear. The difference with pets? They can’t cry so they will growl, hiss, bolt, explode, etc… It’s the only way they can express themselves.
What about those little things people do that really anger you? (We aren’t all guilty of this but some are!). You might scream, swear, slam something. But yet you are upset when your dog (example) “reacts” to another dog? Maybe that dog did something completely offensive, you just don’t know! Or maybe the dog is just not a fan of other dogs… again, maybe irrational, but to whoever it is human, or animal, it seems rational.
Reactivity is annoying, I know it is. I have a VERY reactive strong pitbull. It can be dangerous. It should be worked on in hopes of improving it. The point I am trying to make is be patient. Accept it to some degree. Don’t ignore it. Reactivity is a sign of your animal being uncomfortable, frightened, stressed in some way. Try to help them. But be patience. And accept some animals will ALWAYS be reactive to some degree. That does not make them less lovable or less worthy. It does not make them “bad” or “aggressive.” It makes them an individual that has triggers and fears, JUST LIKE HUMANS.
If you all sit down and think of things that cause YOU to be reactive, I am sure most of you can find at least one. And Im sure it is something many others (including your pet) would say is irrational. But to you, it isn’t. And that’s ok. The same applies to your animal.
Lots of us travel. And traveling when you have to leave pets behind can be stressful for us and them! It is also a big responsibility. Some pets handle owner travel better than others. Here are some tips to help your pet when you are away.
Tell your pet when you are leaving, where you are going, when you are coming back, and who will be taking care of them. Tell them where they will be (home, another house, a boarding facility, etc..)
*If your pet is boarding, allow a couple short visits (day stays, one night, etc.) before the longer stays. This gives your animal a chance to familiarize itself with the place. Also, gives you a chance to see if you animal is happy and comfortable there. And it gives your pet a chance to see you ARE coming back for them.
Home or facility, leave your animals with something that smells like you. Dirty clothes are the best. Even in the home, leave something that smells like you.
Get them something special to be excited about! A new toy that you give when you say your good byes. When you say good bye this is a perfect time to remind them you WILL be back, and when.
Try not to be stressed or anxious. If you are, they will sense this and they will be too! That’s why the new toy helps… it is something for them to be excited about.
Make sure you have an emergency plan. Extra food, extended care, etc… if you get delayed coming home.
Pet cameras – I love pet cameras, it makes me feel better to be able to check on them when I am away. Make sure they are ok. Make sure my pet sitter is coming when necessary. A little over the top, maybe. But my animals can’t take care of themselves so it is my responsibility to make sure they are ok while I am away.
There are so many soothing and relaxing behaviors that animals need to engage in for emotional and mental well being. Today we will talk about dogs! But over the next few days we will talk about other species too (cats, horses, small pets).
These necessary behaviors are often perceived as annoying or nuisances by humans.
By allowing dogs to engage in these behaviors, you are providing them with natural ways to relieve stress, tension and promote well being. In fact, you can buy toys and carious items that promote this behaviors! Encouraging your pet to use these things to soothe and relax themselves.
Sometimes these soothing behaviors cause destruction or injury to the animal itself or to items in the house. The key is not to punish the animal but to find a way to redirect the behavior to an appropriate spot.
They are participating in the behavior because they need to, but they may need your help to direct the behavior appropriately without discouraging it fully. Is it gonna t’ke work and time? Yes! But that’s part of the responsibility that comes with guardianship.
Dogs:
Licking
Try lick mats or simply allow them to lick their friends or you (a show of affection). If you have an animal that overly licks itself to the point of causing sores, try to find alternate sources that attract interest while preventing access to the sores (either by supervision or topical prevention)
Chewing
Try bones, chews, bully stick, etc.. Put things away that are NOT items you want chewed. Dogs don’t know the difference. As humans we think they do, but they don’t.
Sniffing
Let them sniff! It activates so many feel good hormones in their bodies! It also gives them mental stimulation. Take walks and let them sniff, please! Let them stop and sniff over and over and over. Bring them to new places with new smells. Yes, they will get bored with the same smells over and over.
If you can’t bring your dog to new places with new smells try hiding some of their favorite snacks in the house or in boxes or toilet paper rolls and let them sniff it out! There are many ways to provide opportunities for sniffing even within the house.
Encouraging your dog to participate in these soothing and relaxing behaviors will help create enrichment, well being, and relaxation. The inability to participate in these necessary behaviors can cause stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety will later create behavioral issues and/or health issues. These simple, natural behaviors are beneficial in so many ways
There are so many soothing and relaxing behaviors that animals need to engage in for emotional and mental well being. Today we will talk about cats! But over the next few days we will talk about other species too (horses, small pets).
These necessary behaviors are often seen by humans as destructive or annoying. They can also been seen as a nuisance. By allowing cats to engage in these behaviors, you are providing them with natural ways to relieve stress, tension and promote well being and mental enrichment.
Hunting
Cats NEED to hunt. They may bring you their kills. Be happy and thankful. A cat bringing you a kill is giving you a gift quite literally from the heart. You will hurt your cat’s feelings if you are grossed out.
If your cat is indoors only, you can engage in interactive play that encourages your cat to stare, hide, stalk, and then ambush and catch its “prey”. This can be a laser, a feather toy, etc.. It is important to let you cat “catch” its prey to simulate hunting.
All of these must be used to mimic indoor hunting.
Scratching
This is how your cats take care of their nails! If you cat is using an undesirable area for scratching and causing damage, try not to punish your cat. If you punish your cat, your cat will feel the scratching is the problem. Instead, redirect. Catch your cat scratching in the wrong place? Bring your cat to where you DO want your cat to scratch. Or place your cats scratching area near the undesirable item. Praise your cat for using the appropriate spot.
You can also put cat nip on the post. You can also play with the cat near the scratching area to make it a “fun” spot! Whatever you do, encourage your cat to scratch in the right places.
Kneading with claws
Kneading is very soothing to cats. It relaxes them and releases oxytocin. Cats accidentally use claws, especially when kneading. Yes it can hurt! But try not to react. Your cat is NOT trying to hurt you. Cat’s use kneading as a sign of affection and happiness. If they use claws (many do) it is not to make it uncomfortable. It is over eagerness. Instead of reacting to asking your cat NOT to knead. Keep a blanket close, pick up your cat, put the blanket over your lap or whoever the cat is kneading that is causing pain or damage. Put the cat back on top of the blanket. Allow your cat to knead, with claws if that is it’s preference. A cat doesn’t know its ok to knead without claws but not with claws. They just each have their own unique way of kneading. Kneading helps their emotional well being.
Encouraging your cat to participate in these soothing and relaxing behaviors will help create enrichment, well being, and relaxation. The inability to participate in these necessary behaviors can cause stress and anxiety. Stress and anxiety will later create behavioral issues and/or health issues. These simple, natural behaviors are beneficial in so many ways.
We have all heard the saying “the eyes are the mirror to the soul”. It’s true.
Just like I connect through their eyes, so can you.
We all look at our pets, but do you really look into their eyes?
That’s what I want you to think about. Look INTO their eyes, not AT their eyes. It’s totally different.
If you do, with intention, you will see happiness, hope, sadness, confusion, or whatever emotion they feel at the time. The eyes are a great way for you to “read” your own pet during various moments of the day.
Is there a communication issue between you and your pet? Look into their eyes, they are likely confused.
Come home to a mess? Look into their eyes. They are probably worried (because of your reaction), not because of the mess.
I do not recommend staring at your animal endlessly in the eyes. This can intimidate them. Just take a glance INTO their eyes. It won’t take long to know how they feel.
I want to share with you how important fostering is. We all hear it. We all know it. But today hit differently. Rambo got adopted today. After 18 months in rescue with ZERO applications, today he got adopted. Why? Because he was fostered.
People like to see photos of videos of the dogs doing real life every day family/home things. And as a foster you give the dog a chance at those things.
We took him in 6 weeks ago as a foster to adopt. We needed time for him to settle and then cat test him since his reaction to cats was unknown. We needed cat friendly. Unfortunately, he is not cat friendly. We confirmed this with 3 trainers. So fast forward to the last week. We realized he needed a cat friendly home so I posted him on socials.
From the day I posted him to the day he went home…. 5 days. That’s it. 5 days! A dog that went from zero applications in 18 months, to posted and adopted in 5 days. The only difference? He was in a foster home. Fostering makes adoptions happen.
The adopters today told me they woke up at 4am wondering if they were making the wrong decision. Why? Because they said “rescue dogs can have issues. Rescue dogs have problems and baggage.” But them, they told me their thoughts changed to “He will be fine because he’s been living in a home instead of a shelter.” And, “ He knows how to live in a home.” They felt better knowing he had been around many different people and animals. They felt better knowing he has been sleeping in my daughter’s bed with her. They felt better knowing he’s been around loving humans not scared in a shelter. Fostering makes it more personal. The dog isn’t just another face, the dog is part of someone’s family and someone’s home. Having the dog in a home made them feel comfortable enough to say YES to adoption.
And as important, fostering allowed him to get in front of different eyes. Because I had him in my home I was able to post him on my community and town pages on socials, my own personal socials, and dog specific (local) pages on socials. This put him in front of all new sets of eyes that the rescue does not have access to. The rescue posts them on PetFinder and their website. There are hundreds of thousands of dogs on PetFinder, it’s way too hard for one to stand out. But on smaller groups on socials? Very easy for those dogs to get noticed.
I’ve also had past adopters tell me they felt more comfortable adopting a dog that was being fostered by me (as an example) because I am a member of their community and we have had mutual friends. It gave them a connection to feel that they were not adopting from a stranger, but rather someone they could trust.
I live in a small town in Southern Maine. I posted Rambo on a few community pages and a few dog specific local pages, but the adopter came from the smallest of all those pages. My town page, Arundel Maine. So please, FOSTER. It doesn’t only save lives it leads to ADOPTION. And adoption is the goal. If you foster you have the ablity to get that dog more individual attention, which increases their odds of adoption. Every foster I have had, has been adopted by someone that saw the dog on my town pages. Pages the rescue does not have access to.
And if you can foster, please consider one of the dogs that has been continuously overlooked. All it takes is that dog getting in front of new eyes to have their forever. The forever they have been waiting so long for. The forever that every dog deserves.
My foster went to his forever home today. I cried. I’ve fostered many, many dogs. I’ve never cried. I’ve been able to tell myself “this is a temporary foster”. This one got himself into a different spot in my heart. Though I’ve fostered many dogs for many years, there were some really important lessons and reminders for me this time. Reasons that reminded me WHY fostering is so important. WHY fostering not only saves lives but gets dogs into homes. Isn’t that the end goal? We don’t want to pull them out of a shelter to bounce around from foster to foster, we want to get them into a forever home as quickly as we can.
Today I heard from an adopter how much fostering matters. Rambo’s new family has not had a dog in TEN years. They didn’t want to train a puppy (older and retired). They didn’t want a “Rescue” dog. Because let’s face it, a lot of people (a lot of society actually), label rescue dogs (and rescue animals as a whole) as:
* Dogs with Issues * Dogs with Problems * Dogs with No Training * Broken Dogs * Aggressive Dogs * Problem Dogs * Unwanted Dogs
But they saw Rambo’s post and he fit their criteria. Despite filling out an application, thinking it over, getting approved, they had doubts. They woke up in the middle of the night and thought ” What are we doing? This is a rescue dog. Is this a bad decision? What problems are we getting?”. But then, the thoughts went to, “He’s living in a home now with a family and other dogs. He knows how to live in a house. He will be just fine. “
If Rambo was in a shelter they never would’ve given him a chance. They would’ve overlooked a wonderful dog. Putting dogs into foster homes makes them MORE adoptable. Most adopters feel better and more confident about adopting a dog from a home versus a shelter.
Rambo spent 18 months in rescue without a single application. But, bringing him into my home changed everything. He got interest. He got an application. Along with bringing him into my home, he got access to my community. As a foster you can reach a different network of people. Rescues highlight their dogs on Pet Finder and on their website.
Have you ever looked at Pet Finder? Tens of thousands of animals. It’s hard for a dog to stand out. But, as a member of the community, I can highlight the dog on my social media pages, my community social media pages, and my extended network on socials. My town has a a few pages, I am on a few pages for “Hiking with Dogs” or “Dog Friendly” New England Pages. These are all networks the rescue does not have access to. By taking the dog into my home, I can not get the dog into the eyes of all the people on these pages.
Adopters also feel more comfortable getting a dog from members of the community. It feels more real. More authentic. It feels more trusted. I’ve had many adopters tell me they saw we had mutual friends, so they asked the mutual friend about me. A reference check on me in a sense. And because their friend had great things to say about me, they trusted me. They trusted that what I told them about the dog was accurate. They didn’t feel like they were getting a dog from a stranger.
I also brought all my foster dogs out in public with me. Pet stores, errands, etc.. Rambo, knows how to beep the horn! Every time I left him in the car he would beep the horn and people would tell me! That was always a conversation starter. We laughed, I would tell them he’s available for adoption, etc… That’s networking. Letting as many people in your community know the dog is available.
Without fosters none of this happens for these dogs. They sit in a shelter or a rescue center overlooked. Living in a way that is unnatural (cage) with limited human interaction. This can make going to a home stressful for them. But if you foster, you are getting more eyes on them, you are giving them skills they need to succeed in a home. Fostering is what makes adoption happen. Yes, we all know it saves lives. But what we don’t hear people say is, fostering is what makes adoption happen. I realized that today because of Rambo.
Rambo impacted me differently, not just in my heart, but in my perspective on fostering. When you see a thousand homeless faces, looking sad, depressed, etc.. it’s hard to pick one. And it’s hard for people to see those dogs as happy dogs they want to welcome into the family. They usually have a couple photos that aren’t great and don’t show off the dog well. But when you see a dog in foster, you see videos and photos of the dog having fun, smiling, maybe being around kids and other animals, going outside, showing off their BEST traits, they generate more interest. They get adopted.
After 18 months, Rambo got adopted. After 18 months, he is now a dog someone WANTS to love.
So though my heart is sad, I won’t try to hide that fact, I know now my home is open for another dog that will choose me to be his pathway to his forever home. Rambo felt different. I would’ve fostered failed if this meet and greet didn’t work out. But it did. And when I left I remembered there are endless Rambo’s waiting for someone to say YES, I am ready to love you. And they need fosters to help them get there.
I came home holding his empty collar, crying. I looked at his kennel, empty, I cried. I took his toys and gave them to my dogs, and I cried. It feels empty here without him. I’ve cried three additional times since I’ve been home. And though I have enjoyed every foster I have had, he made himself part of me. This one hurts. But it hurts more to know there are so many waiting. Waiting like Rambo did. Some will never get a chance unless a foster opens their home.
So please foster if you can. You can do it occasionally or regularly. And if you can, take a long term resident. If they’ve been waiting for a long time, they need to be seen by new eyes in new places. You can be the reason they finally get the forever they have waited so long for. And trust me, they don’t all hurt. This is my first that hurt out of more dogs than I can count.
Every other foster I have sent off with all happiness. This one was half happiness and half heartache, maybe a little more heartache than happiness. There was bound to be one along the way…. and Rambo was the one.
Do you think your pet is not listening to you? Is it possible your pet thinks youre the problem?
Animals have natural behaviors that will be there no matter how much we domesticate them. Cats are meant to scratch. When they scratch furniture or corners of your home you are scolding them for what they are suppose to do. This is how they take care of their nails.
Maybe you cat thinks…. “I found the perfect place to keep my nails short and my human took that away from me but didn’t provide another suitable option? What am I suppose to do now?
What about dogs that pull on the leash. They are meant to sniff. Maybe your dog thinks, why won’t my human stop pulling on ME? You think they’re pulling. They think you’re pulling. Who is actually pulling?
See where I am going with this? This applies to every animal species for every behavior. They are NEVER ever trying to break rules. The rules they have are human rules. If you take the behavior and look at it from their perspective you will see maybe they see you as the problem.
This doesn’t mean our animals should run wildly with no rules. We all have rules as humans and as animals. My intention is just to get you to understand their perspective and therefore maybe cut them some slack. And make some decisions. What matters and what doesn’t? Safety does. Nothing else really does.
Let them enjoy life. If you let them sniff (they can sniff without pulling- but they will always pull if not allowed to sniff), ore exercise them often enough, they aren’t going to pull during the entire walk.
If you give your cat a suitable place to scratch and a very CLEAN place to use the bathroom, they’ll use it. Cats are very clean animals.
Pets should not be blamed for doing animal things. Humans should accommodate their natural behaviors as much as possible while keeping them safe. And when we do need to correct their behaviors or improve manners understanding their “why” helps with fair corrections and improved adherence from the pet.
